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08/17/2005

Fall Preview: From the misshapen mind of Westboro Baptist comes this wacky new spinoff

by Jeremy Hooper

Tired of having your gag reflexed triggered by GodHatesFags.com? Bored with the antics of GodHatesAmerica.com? Find GodhatesCanada.com or GodHatesSweden.com too regional? Well fear not, fellow folks who can't help but stare at car wrecks, as the kinsmen responsible for those domains o' abhorrence have 'gone live' with a new site guaranteed to make even the most radical of hate-filled extremists seem like pussycats in comparison.

Yes, at Westboro's newly inaugurated PriestsRapeBoys.com, one can be exposed to vile statements like:

"The Catholic Church is the largest, most well-funded and organized pedophile group in the history of man!"

as well as :

"One of the Bishops of the Episcopal Church, V. Gene Robinson, left the wife of his youth and abandoned his children to live with a man and pack his fudge - then went on national t.v. and called the filth that they engage in 'a holy sacrament'. The Baptist preachers preach that "God loves the sinner, but hates the sin." None of these preachers preach against the monstrous sin of the Catholic Church, and none of these churches separates themselves from the company of the Catholics nor warns them about their sin, and are thereby irreversibly and without exception bound for hell!"

not to mention:

"George W. Bush, calls for God's blessing of America and leads the charge of an idolatrous orgy of flag worshipping at the hands of his own military and political blunder, yet won't touch a priest for breaking every state's law AND THE BIBLE'S MORAL CODE regarding sexual molestation and homosexuality (Lev. 18:22). Such hypocrisy, along with the rest of his Godless, antichristic counsel, will undoubtedly land Bush, and all who support his policies, in the eternal fires of hell."

Holy mother of crazy!

But it ain't gonna stop there, kiddies, as the folks at Westboro have also announced future plans for AmericaIsDoomed.com, GodIsTheTerrorist.com, and YourPastorIsAWhore.com. This is, of course, crazy beyond all belief, as they've never even met our pastor. Assuming makes and ass out of U and U, guys!

Look for these sites on a computer near you, though be sure to wash your hard drive with a nice exfoliating scrub once viewing is complete.

**UPDATE: Every time a Phelps replies, an English teacher weeps [G-A-Y]

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