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09/09/2005

Marriage backers give Schwarzenegger time to mull veto intent

by Jeremy Hooper

  Due to his vow to veto the legislation, sponsors of California's recently passed queer nuptial-allowing bill have announced plans to slow the process of delivering the measure to Gov. Schwarzenegger. By doing so, this will give gay rights supporters two weeks to try and convince the Kindergarten Cop to autograph rather than put the kibosh on the 'allowance of marriage for Bill and Bill' bill.

Our suggestion: Spend this time trying to convince him that Maria Shriver is really a man. We're sure he'll just say, "Huh? What? Really? Maria's a true girlie-man? Hmm...well I can't ban my own marriage, so OKAY, I'll sign. Wow, she's really a man, huh? I knew she was a Democrat and a Kennedy, but a male? Wow, you really learn something new every day. It's like that time on the set of True Lies when Tom Arnold told me he was really a good actor and I was like, NO!! You're Tom Arnold. You're just some hack who married Roseanne. But ya know what? He really was good. And you know what else? I love my wife, dude or no."

Not that we in any way think the sexy Ms. Shriver is of the masculine set, we just really want to register for serving pieces and waffle irons.

Same-sex marriage bill stalled by backers [AP via ContraCostaTimes.com]

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