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10/24/2005

The vote that affects the gay, begins today ::clap, clap, clap, clap:: deep in the heart of Texas

by Jeremy Hooper

   Early voting begins today for the Nov. 8 Texas elections, the referendum in which Lone Star State residents will decide whether or not to constitutionally ban gay marriage.

For those who fall into the "whether" category - Cast your vote, but don't expect us to plan, attend, or bless your wedding, meanie
For those who fall into the "or not" category - Get out there and cast your vote against discrimination, you good person, you
For those who fall into a big puddle on their way to cast their ballot - We'll help you up, but not before laughing uncontrollably
For those who "Fall Guy" served as a seminal moment in their development - Who can blame you, Lee Majors was genius
For those who "Fall" is cited as their favorite season - We also find the crisp weather and foliage of autumn to be lovely
For those who fall for a partner who's a real a-hole - Get out now, while you have the chance
For those who fall from grace after an embarrassing public spectacle - Remember that your true friends will always be beside you no matter what
For those who fall ill with the flu this year - You should have gotten a flu shot, dumb*ss
For those who fall into an unnecessary war - Things will get better someday, America
For those who fall behind today at work - Monday's are hard, we understand
For those who fall short of your parent's expectations - Give us a call, as we can totally relate

Wait, what the hell were we talking about? Oh yea, Texas...get out there and vote against that discriminatory bullsh*t, Lone Star Staters!

EARLY VOTING BEGINS TODAY [Tylerpaper.com]

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