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BREAKING: God speaks via Westboro press release

by Jeremy Hooper

So God apparently spoke overnight, choosing to do so via the "fag-hating" folks at Westboro Baptist Church. In response to their conversation with the Lord Almighty, the family Phelps issued the following press release this AM:

Picture 3-56

Can you believe their ineptitude? Everyone knows it's only an ultimatum if you give folks a final demand, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or the breakdown of relations. This would be more correctly classified as a vengeful statement; an ultimatum would read more like : "You gotta get rid of those fags, or society will end," or "You better start praying now, or you can bend over and kiss your arse goodbye." Not to be a stickler or anything, but it's just improper wording.

Not to mention, we could have sworn that Lizzie Grubman, PMK-HBH, or one of the big NY firms handled all of God's PR needs. He is, after all, the Creator of totality -- you would think he could afford to retain someone who knows the meaning of ultimatum. Not to harp on that again, but it's just such a glaring error.

***This whole of this "News Release" can be found at, though a link from us these fools will never receive.

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