Good As You

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12/09/2005

The American Family Association has called off its boycott of Target because they say the company "has heard our concerns and decided to use Christmas in their advertising and marketing efforts."

Upon hearing of the AFA's decision, a fictional Target spokesperson existing only within our mind said, "Oh, so what, we have permission to conduct our business now? You've deemed us okay? Because, you know, we do carry The Birdcage on DVD and don't refuse service to atheists -- sure you don't have something to say about that? No? Okay, well, if you'll excuse me, I must go tidy up the 20-aisle-wide behemoth of a Christmas display that we've had in our store every year since our inception as a retailer. Or what, do you want us to expand it to cover half the store? Maybe next year we could actually have our extra-small employees dress as the baby Jesus, and we could pretend they're being birthed out of the loins of our more heavyset workers. Would that be enough to keep you from passing moral judgement on our operation? Because if not, we could probably reprogram our cash registers to print various Biblical passages on each and every receipt.

Clorox...3.99
Scented Candle...6.99
"Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you"...free.

Would you like a little bit of widely-ignored Leviticus with your purchase tallies? Would this sort of bill of sale-based preaching keep you from deeming us too fruity for your dollar?

You know, I'm like totally over this -- you absolutely sure you have nothing else to say about the moral fitness of our business practices? Last chance. Nothing? Alright then; as always, thank you for shopping at Target."

Couldn't have said it better ourselves.

Target Includes Christmas, AFA Drops Boycott [AFA Press Release]
RELATED: AFA: Oh, and dreidels are really 'Santa spinners' [G-A-Y]

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