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Clinton to send Elton pre-wedding well wishes; after all, they do have a '-ton' in common -- ha, ha, ha, ha.... ha....... ha.......... ha.......... ugh

by Jeremy Hooper

   Former President Bill Clinton (pic., in crayon) has reportedly taped a video message to be played tonight at Elton John's pre-wedding "hen party." In what is perhaps an indication that he'd like to hear even more "Candle in the Wind" variations, the former Prez's message is said to read, in part, "If there were more people in the world like Elton, then the world would be a better place." Much better than the original draft, which we hear went something like: "If there were more people in the world like Elton, then the world would require more sequins."

No word on why the 42nd president can't make it to the affair, and also no word on why he has to miss Elton's wedding.

We kid ya 42 -- we know you don't have affairs, except for that one that you had when you did.


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