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12/30/2005

'Concerned Woman' Robert Knight gunning for Barbie; Ken all like, 'REALLY? Not me?'

by Jeremy Hooper

   In an ironic criticism from a man who heads an organization whose name would seem to indicate that it's female-specific, The Concerned Women for America's Robert Knight is gunning for the Barbie.com website because, he says, the iconic doll's Internet home is promoting gender confusion. Knight's concerned unmentionables are in a wad because the Mattel heroine's site gives children three options when choosing their sex, "I am a girl," I am a boy," or "I don't know," the last of which he immediately claims to be a tool of liberal, aborto-sodomy-loving, society-wrecking, militant activists attempting to enforce their homosexual/transgender "agenda" upon unsuspecting tots.

Well we at Good As You were curious to see if this third option really was screwing with minds of the "still occasionally pees on self" set, so we yanked a random 3-year-old girl off our NYC street and questioned her mercilessly. Here's what the little lass had to say:

"Uhm, I think Barbie is weally pwetty becasue she has pwetty yellow hair. I wike to bwush her hair. This one time my bubby took Barbie by the hair and wouldn't give her back, uhm, and it made me weally, weally, weally sad. I didn't wike it at all. So I told my mommy and she made him give it back. Then I was happy becasue I could brush her hair again.

Uhm, hey, you wanna come see my bwochures for my sexual weassignemt surgery? I gonna make my down there wook wike daddy's so I can make sissy in the potty wike bubby does.
"

HOLY SH*T, he's wight right! That Barbie is gonna have a whole generation of wee ones slicing and dicing their hoo-hahs faster than you can say "Ken's already missing his." Good work, Mr. Knight -- your concerned mama must be proud.

Be sure to keep an out for future Knight criticisms, when we hear his detective work will next reveal the illegal immigration-encouraging nature of Dora the Explorer.

Barbie’s Web Site Promotes Gender Confusion [CWA]

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