RECENT  POSTS:  » Another deceptive thing about NOM's duplicitous anti-Hagan ad » NOM trying to shape Arkansas politics without even learning state's abbreviation » Video: Focus on the Family staffer who calls homosexuality 'particularly evil lie of Satan' hangs out in Chicago's Boystown » Video: Another new NOM ad targets Sen. Mark Pryor (D-AR); uses James O'Keefe video as source » What the heck is 'NOM Victory Fund'? » Video: NOM reminds North Carolinians that they, Thom Tillis forced state into unconstitutional mess » Actually no, kindness does not demand making people mad at you » Another evangelical leader comes out against so-called reparative therapy » And the intended spouses who are refused service are what, exactly? Trees? Aliens? » Audio: Brian Brown advocates on behalf of pro-equality Democrat, destruction of his own party  

« Go back a post || Return to G-A-Y homepage || Haul tail to next post »

12/08/2005

Pastor to hold 'Mr. Hetero Contest'; oddly, intercourse with a female not even an event

by Jeremy Hooper

   According to Family News in Focus, Tom Crouse (pic.), pastor of Massachusetts' Holland Congregational Church, is tired of homos "flooding the marketplace with products and opportunities exclusively for gays and lesbians," so he has decided to create a contest to "name the most heterosexual guy in Massachusetts." The competition, scheduled for Feb 4, will reportedly feature "such manly events as how many Oprah magazines you can tear at once and a sixty second dissertation on the uses of duct tape."

Brainy.

But the finely nuanced brilliance doesn't stop at crude exhibitions of chauvinism, as Crouse also says, “In the middle of the event we’re going to have somebody who formerly lived the homosexual lifestyle give a testimony of how they’ve been transformed by Jesus Christ." Despite this obvious attempt at homosexual demonization (which is further reinforced by the anti-Pride Flag bumper stickers he sells on his website), Crouse still sums up the pageant of stereotypical masculinity by saying, “We’re just looking for tolerance for heterosexuals.”

Uh huh -- and we're just looking for our Jeff Foxworthy tape, as we find his quirky brand of redneck-based humor so relatable and the audiocassette format so efficient.

No word on how contestants will prove that they've never engaged in sodomy in order to qualify for the competition, though we do hear that preliminary events involve the measuring of Uranus. Personally we don't see how ascertaining the size of a planet has anything to do with the homo-sex, but whatever.

Massachusetts Pastor has Contest for Mr. Straight [Family News in Focus]
(Thanks for the tip, P1Q)

space gay-G-A-Y-post gay-email gay-writer-jeremy-hooper


comments powered by Disqus

G-A-Y Comments Policy


 
Related Posts with Thumbnails