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12/09/2005

'Pro-fam' critic: 'Brokeback' may lead to 'Vomitmouth'

by Jeremy Hooper

   Regarding the on-screen sex between Ledger and Gylenhaal in Brokeback Mountain (simulated coitus he describes as a "San Quentin-type rape scene"), "pro-family" reviewer Ted Baehr (pic.) predicts of audiences:

"If they're not vomiting their way out of the theater when they see that scene, they are certainly going to be uncomfortable, and even in the uncomfortable aspects, they are going to be bored silly"

Unless, of course, they're gay or comfortable with their sexuality, in which case they will sit there and watch the movie; maybe munch a little popcorn; try to lift their foot from the sticky floor; reach into their gummy bear box only to be disappointed in the fact that they've already eaten all 5; grab another handful of popcorn; eat it; wipe their butter-covered hand on their jeans; attempt to place their arm on the armrest even though their rude friends on either side have taken up more than their share; give their friends pointed looks that say, "hey, stop thieving the appendage resters;" watch as their friends reluctantly give in to their demands; mumble the words, "yea bitches, i thought so;" then sit back and enjoy their small victory as Ledger and Gylenhaal go at it like heated gay bunnies in cowboy hats.

Reviewers Call 'Brokeback Mountain' Twisted [FOF]

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