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12/21/2005

Proposed Mass. queer nups ban deemed kosher

by Jeremy Hooper

   The ballot initiative seeking to ban gay marriage in Massachusetts has been officially certified by Secretary of State William Galvin. The matrimony-banning measure now heads to the state legislature, where it must be approved by both the House and Senate in two successive sessions in order for the bullsh*t to be sent to the state's voters in '08.

In other certification of foulness news, the Mass. Secretary of State reportedly took a dump yesterday, looked in the toilet, and verified that it was, in fact, feces that he had dislodged. However, unlike the aforementioned legislative excrement -- which will be allowed to stick around to stink up the state -- the poo in the commode was merely flushed to its watery grave, thus ending its noxious existence. Here's hoping the Mass. legislature will follow suit by sending this nauseating marriage-barring measure to the law-making sewer, where it can swim around with similarly stench-ridden failed amendments, once shat the lawmakers' general direction by a previous generation of intolerants.

Secretary of state certifies seven initiative petitions [AP via Boston.com]

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