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12/15/2005

Utah GOP Senator moves to ban GSAs; frankly, we move to avoid GOP Senators

by Jeremy Hooper

   Utah Senator Chris Buttars (pic.) has announced planned legislation that could ultimately ban the state's public schools from offering Gay-Straight Alliances. Regarding his motivations, Buttars said yesterday:

"In my mind, if you are in the chess club, what do you talk about? Chess.''..."If you are in the dance club, what do you talk about? Dance. If you are in a gay club, what do you talk about?

The answer of course being: Cornbread.

   Missing the point even further, the Eagle Forum's Gayle Ruzicka (who we'd imagine despises writing the first three letters of her name) says:

"Equal access does not allow for illegal or immoral activities, (nor) does our Utah law. Would they allow a marijuana club?"

A marijuana club!? Oh, Gayle, you sly little goose! Ya see what you did there is, you juxtaposed homosexuality with an illegal substance, thus making it sound as if they are one and the same. Clever you are, you little minx. But answer me this Gayle -- if homosexuality and marijuana are interchangeable, how come I can smoke a joint and get sodomized at the same time? Maybe the two clubs could join forces and become the Gay-Straight-Ganja Alliance? The Homo High Society? The 'Dude, My Queerness Feels Neat' Coalition?

No? Those are all really stupid ideas, as promoting marijuana and preventing anti-gay abuse have absolutely nothing to do with one another? Oh.

There are currently 14 GSAs in Utah schools, and due to the unfortunately misguided deeds of folks like Senator Buttars and Ms. Ruzicka, their existence is rendered all the more necessary. You two should be quite proud of yourselves.

Utah lawmaker seeks to ban gay-straight clubs [AP via Advocate.com]

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