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01/18/2006

EU deals significant blow to homophobia; homophobia hopes blow is 'from a chick'

by Jeremy Hooper

   By a vote of 469 -149, Members of the European Parliament voted today in favor of a resolution designed to stamp out homophobia in all EU member nations.

Let us be the first to commend this much-needed effort, as your humble scribe was just in London last week, and some cigarette smoking punk had the nerve to casually say to me, "Just enjoying a mid-afternoon fag," to which I immediately replied, "well I'm enjoying this lovely afternoon as well, smokey, but there's no reason to call me a fag, Britty McBritBrit." Just imagine my surprise when he had the audacity to shoot me a puzzled look and say, "No -- fag -- a cigarette." This of course caused me to yell at him, "YES -- a cigarette -- I see that -- gross -- DON'T CALL ME A FAG, funny talker!" He then totally showed his stupidity though, as he preceded to call me an "ugly American;" this attack on my beauty couldn't have been more off-the mark, as I had been primping all morning and was actually looking quite hot, thank you very much. To make matters even worse (if you can imagine), I couldn't find Ranch dressing anywhere the whole time I was over there, and when I asked the common question, "What sort of fine dining establishment doesn't have Ranch dressing?" none of the waiters seemed to have the first clue. Stupid Britain.

We hear that EU gay rights activists are applauding the passage, though we can't be sure until they cater to our needs and learn to speak good, proper American.

European Parliament Votes to Stamp Out Homophobia [UK Gay News]

**We received an email from a British reader who did not realize we were joking in the above post, thinking we actually hated Britain. She was, obviously, very stupid.

We kid -- sorry for any miscommunication due to a language barrier. WE LOVE BOTH BRITAIN AND THE BRILLIANT READER WHO WROTE US!!!

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