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01/25/2006

For the love of God, take stock in your beliefs

by Jeremy Hooper

   The Rev. Ken Hutcherson (pic.) has expounded on his plans to mess with companies who are supporting a Washington gay rights bill, urging those who subscribe to his homo-unfriendly beliefs to purchase stocks from the queer-supportive companies and then dump them to drive their prices down. According to the AP, Hutcherson wants supporters to buy one or two shares over the next few months, then turn around and sell them on May 1.

After all, boycotts are just soooo last extremist.

Among the corporations in Hutcherson's cross hairs are such industry giants as Microsoft, Boeing, Hewlett Packard, and Nike, all of whom signed a letter urging passage of the anti-discrimination measure. Those in the know indicate that Hutcherson's plan will do little to affect the stocks of these large companies, meaning, of course, that he will likely have to invoke the next phase, Operation Stand Outside of the Companies' Headquarters, Stick Out Our Tongues, Make Silly Faces, And Create Simulated Fart Noises With Our Mouths.

So far none of the companies have responded to Hutcherson's threats, though we'd imagine there are loads of eye rolls and utterings of "Riiiiiiiiiight" being dispensed among many a Washington-based executive office this AM.

Pastor Urges Microsoft Stock Buy-And-Dump [AP via WashPost]

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