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01/26/2006
Would you like pretzels, peanuts, or to hear about how I slept with a celebrity?
FROM THE ARTICLE: Well, now, the jig is up for Kenny, thanks to Paula Jackson. The Southwest Airlines flight attendant, age 47, announced to a plane load of people last week that she had been Chesney’s lover for 10 years before he met and married Zellweger.
“I taught him everything he knows,” the charming Jackson told her passengers, one of whom was yours truly. “Renee should have called me, I would have told her, there’s no way he should be married.”
Jackson — who is a decade older than the singer — described Chesney as a capable lover who also had a full head of hair in the days she went with him. The lovely lass also has a terrific voice for country music, and showed it off on the plane several times.
If true, the article begs the question: Why the hell wasn't THIS the headline?
Please fasten you seat belts, as I'm about to tell you more than you ever wanted to know. If you'd like headphones to muffle the lascivious details, just let me or Suzette know. In the event of an emergency need to arouse yourself, your seat cushions will act as suitable objects to dry hump. I'd like to ask that you please don't tell me 'Too Much Info, Lady,' while the 'Don't Censor My Inappropriate Speech' light is illuminated. Now sit back and enjoy my unsolicited candor. We should be arriving at orgasm around the time I tell you what he likes to do with his tongue.
Kenny Chesney Isn't Gay [FOX 411]
