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02/27/2006

She may think our soul to be hellbound, but our comedy she finds top notch

by Jeremy Hooper

This is an email that was just sent to us by Westboro Baptist's Shirley Phelps-Roper:

Every now and again someone among my loved ones will forward something new that you have posted about us. I believe you first landed on our radar about last April.

I just had to write this one time and tell you how much entertainment I get reading your stuff. It is simply hilarious! I’m glad you have a sense of humor!

I guess this means that you have read all the words and that you have rejected the word of God. You know of course that means you are going to hell.

Meanwhile, my epic adventure to Anoka, MN will go up shortly and it is a must read – I’m talking GOOD STUFF! That little trip into Anoka landed all over CNN from Thursday night till Saturday night. I mean – the Lord our God took that door of utterance clean off the hinges!

Thanks.

Shirley L Phelps-Roper

A response from Good As You's Jeremy S. Hooper:

Hey Shirl,

Glad you enjoy. However, I simply can't take all the credit -- you must admit that your family's
wacky antics lend themselves to some good ol' American comedy. Funeral pickets, thanking God for dead soldiers and natural disasters -- the impetus for many a laugh riot, you Phelpseseseses have been. So really I just take what you give me, funnel through a mind that hasn't been tainted by an extremist father, add a pinch of wit for good measure, then bake in an Easy Mock Oven for 10-12 minutes.

Oh Shirl, I feel like I haven't seen you since 'Nam. I think it was only some gay event in 2001 when we last crossed paths, but it feels like it's been FOREVER! I hope you guys will come to Manhattan at some point in the future. You can stand on the corner and be all like, "
God Hates Fags." I can then come out with some Kool-Aid and be like, "Oops, better not -- you guys seem to have already consumed enough of this stuff." Then we can all jaunt down to the "Nuts 4 Nuts" stand and you guys can pose for a silly photo where one of you -- maybe Jael or Libby -- could act like their purchasing some almonds. They can be like "Nuts 4 Nuts 4 Nuts, please," and we'll all get a good-natured laugh out of the ironic situation. Oh yes, we simply must hang.

Ooh, S -- while I have your attention, I wanna take an opportunity to say sorry about that whole cruel, physical abuse thing that
allegedly plagued the childhoods of you and yours. Despite your brother Timothy's recent email in which he laughs at the possibility that an aneurysm would render me dead, I would never scoff at physical pain being inflicted on you, your family, or anyone for the matter. So In all sincerity, reading that whole "Addicted to Hate" piece really bothered me. If it's true, my heart goes out to you. Nobody deserves that.

Well, Shirl -- gotta run. Toodles noodles.

P.S.
You're going to Helena. At least I'd assume you will at some point -- you guys go everywhere else. I'm sure there's a Laramie Project production or something there that'll ruffle your feathers, no?

-Jeremy

Jeremy Hooper
Good As You

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