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Every time a Scalia speaks, we imagine sirens and officers in our bedrooms

by Jeremy Hooper

  Via CNN, the following gay-related comments from Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (pic.) have recently surfaced:

"Question comes up: Is there a constitutional right to homosexual conduct? Not a hard question for me. It's absolutely clear that nobody ever thought when the Bill of Rights was adopted that it gave a right to homosexual conduct. Homosexual conduct was criminal for 200 years in every state. Easy question."

So to get a response to Scalia, we decided to hold a seance and conjure up the spirits of the slaves held by any of those responsible for the Bill of Rights. But unfortunately the slaves had little insight to offer, as they all agreed they had little interaction with their masters unless they were being beaten.

As that ghost-conjuring was unsuccessful, we decided to tap into the soul of some of the wives of the founding fathers; however, none of them had much helpful information, as they mostly just replied "But I'm a woman -- what do I know about issues? I mean, it's not like I can vote or have any real say in man's work, can I?"

Deciding to cut out the middle men and just go for those who actually put quill to parchment, we focused really hard and called on the souls of Washington, Jefferson, et al. Basically they just told us that yea, they did some things and held some ideas that those of us in this century would certainly look down upon, but that they simply didn't know better. Their bottom line was that societies change and adapt, and as we all collectively learn more about right/wrong, we realize that our rules and laws must also keep up with the changing times.

Don't justify a position by citing a long-held wrong, Mr. Scalia. History is filled such fallaciousness.

Scalia again draws criticism for antigay comments [AP via Advocate]

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