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04/03/2006

Benham: Hell's gateway paved with local drag queens

by Jeremy Hooper

Continuing to take credit for the cancellation of this year's Pride festival in Charlotte, NC, anti-gay activist Flip Benham says to Agape Press:

"We Christians at churches around the city of Charlotte are rejoicing over what God has done -- and we've found out that it's true that when the church of Jesus Christ arrives at the gates of hell, the gates of hell cannot prevail against it..."

To which the Devil responded, "You think that Pride festival is exemplary of the portal to my realm? Flip, come on man. Dude, I'm Satan -- I can do more with my entryway than just put up rainbow balloons and a sign that says 'Welcome to Charlotte Pride.' I mean, give me a little bit of credit! Okay, so maybe I did have that one gateway misstep in the mid-80's when I installed that doorbell that played 'Highway to Hell.' Everyone told me it would be too literal, but did I listen? Nope. I just got angry and stubborn. Gosh, I can be so hot headed sometimes. But I learned my lesson from that debacle and I think my current door to eternal damnation is quite impressive, if I can say so myself. So since you've never seen the damn thing, Flipster, perhaps you should quit talking smack about it. Deal?"

Ooh, we're soooo staying the Hell devil's home out of this argument!

Homosexual 'Pride' Event Pushed Back Into Closet, Says Christian Group [Agape]

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