Drama, clubs: Lambda Legal files GSA-seeking suit
Citing the First Amendment and the Equal Access Act -- which states that secondary schools that receive federal funds and allow non-curricular student groups to meet on campus are prohibited from discriminating against any group based on its viewpoint -- Lambda Legal today filed a lawsuit on behalf of students at Chicago's North Street Charter School who wish to form a gay-straight alliance. The suit alleges that the school's administration has stifled the students' attempts to formally meet and forbidden them from using the resources of other school clubs.
Not to be outdone, we today filed our nails and bitched about the fact that at our rural high school circa 1996, even uttering the word "gay" was like placing a big sign on your back that said, "Knock my books out of my hand -- I love it." Our snarky session of remembrance alleges that such an environment kept us firmly in the closet, forcing us to feign excitement when our opposite-sex dates would say things like, "My parents are going out Friday night, so we'll have the whole house to ourselves." We'd be all like, "Oh. Wow. Uhm, really, where are they going? Mr Holland's Opus -- ooh, I haven't seen that yet. Hmm, maybe we should tag along; you know, so I can get in good with your folks. I really want them to like me, ya know. Yea, so we'll do that and then maybe afterwards, if there's still time, we'll do some of that making out thing, which you know I F*CKING LOVE! I mean, it's just so great, kissing you...and stuff. Uhm, so yea. I would love to stay here and make out with you, since you look so cute in your Betsey Johnson baby doll dress and cherry red Doc Martens, but I unfortunately have to go do, uhm...something else. You know, guy stuff. Oh, and actually, since I sneezed eight hours ago, I think I'm getting a cold. So instead of kissing you goodbye, how' about a super-cute high five? Put it there, you sexy girl you. Okay, so that's done. Well, bye now, uhm, girlfriend."
We'll keep you posted as Lambda Legal's case develops; we'll give you more 90's era tales of teen closet dwelling at another writer-blocked time.
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