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09/25/2006
Iowa lawmakers out to protect sanctity of gay kids' lunch money
Iowa Senate co-leaders Mike Gronstal and Mary Lundby (the former a Dem, the latter a Repub) are calling on the legislature to approve a bill that would specifically protect gay and lesbian students from bullying in the state's schools.
News to which the state's supply of rubber replied, "Oh Great. Just great. For years I've been bouncing bullies' insults off of gay kids and back to stick on my mortal foe "glue," and now suddenly some sort of bill's gonna come along and render me useless?!? You think I'm no longer adequate? Well, I know you are but what am I, Iowa schools?
Oh, and you just wait until I tell "sticks," "stones," and "circle, circle, dot, dot, the cootie shot" about this! You think you can just throw us out like you did the idea that crawling under your desk could actually protect one from nuclear attack? Oh no, Iowa schools! We're not going out without a fight. On that, I promise my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye!"
He fights like a Trojan, that rubber!
It remains to be seen if the bill will actually become law. However, we do hear scared local bullies are currently seeking alternate venues to express their assholish tendencies.
Key Iowa lawmakers urge vote on bullying protections for gay students [Advocate]
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