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09/14/2006

The 'unconditional love' of conditional acceptance

by Jeremy Hooper

In one of the biggest gay-unfriendly spin-jobs that we've ever seen (and that's saying something), Agape Press is today quoting PFOX executive director Regina Griggs as saying of her impetus behind starting an "ex-gay" organization:

"PFOX was started because there were no organizations supporting parents in loving their homosexual children unconditionally," said Regina Griggs, executive director of PFOX, in an interview with AFA Journal. At the time, she added, the secular-minded organizations dealing with homosexuality insisted "that parents love their children only if they affirm the child's homosexual behavior."

But Griggs said PFOX takes a different approach, because it "
believes that parents can love their children unconditionally and without any stipulations." That principle allows parents to love their children without surrendering parental beliefs about homosexuality itself.

So here's what she's trying to do: She's trying to make it seem that her group, which is yet another cog in the "ex-gay" movement's machine, is really just some loving organization that is really all about acceptance for everyone, including "former homosexuals." In doing so, she's painting the group they were so obviously designed to counter, PFLAG, as if their widely-supported "gays can't and shouldn't change" message is biased to those parents who, because of the false facts, junk science, and religious convictions propagated by Ms. Griggs and her cronies, are led to believe that "change" is not only possible, but the only option that should be accepted. But the thing is, virtually nobody denies that the majority of non-accepting parents LOVE their gay kids. In fact, this writer would go so far as to say most of the parents who try to get their kids to "change" THINK they're acting ONLY out of love.

Moreover, PFLAG not only WILL accept non-accepting parents in their meeting, but anyone who's ever been to a PFLAG meeting will tell you that it's TYPICAL for many of the parents present to still be struggling to accept their kids. It's not an organization that will only allow those under the "condition" that they "affirm their child's homosexual behavior." While acceptance is unapologetically PFLAG's goal, their mission is only to educate the parents in the way that they see fit. It's up to the parents what they choose to believe!

Muddying the waters is typical of the players in the "ex-gay" movement, and Ms. Griggs rationale is just another examples of this. She can't even have the fortitude to say "We think gays can and should change, and PFLAG thinks gays can and shouldn't," and then let the cards fall where the may. She has to make it appear as if their side has a monopoly on unconditional love, and our side's approach is the antithesis of such devotion. Now, it's true that many of us, including your humble scribe, speak out emphatically against the "ex-gay" movement because we, as students of the conceit, realize how flawed, unsupported, and dangerous, yet coordinated, financed, and clever the whole charade truly is. But rarely to never do we deny that those of you involved in the movement truly believe you're acting in a loving manner. It's just that we, who think you are all personally responsible for loads of damaged psyches and worse, wish upon our greatest wishes that you'd wise up and see the evidence that we so clearly see! It's not unloving for us to resist you guys -- it's us loving ourselves and our fellows enough to challenge you at every turn!

Struggling 'Gays' and Lesbians Welcomed; PFOX Reaches Out With Message of Hope [Agape]

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