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11/20/2006

'Don we now our gay-hating apparel'

by Jeremy Hooper

 Good As You Images SantawestSo say you want to welcome the Christmas season as it makes its yearly jingle-belled appearance on America's landscape, yet you detest almost every one of the United States' cultural practices and traditions, as you think this nation has "sinned away its day of grace" and is doomed for destruction from a vengeful God. What words do you use to both acknowledge the impending onslaught of yuletide merriment AND condemn those who enjoy such red and green-laden festivities? Well, if you're Westboro Baptist Church, you say:

Picture 5-28

And we think we speak for everyone when we reply: "Ugh, have you no shame, Westboro? I mean, kids -- it's not even Thanksgiving yet!!! Talk about rushing to condemn the season! Sheesh, it seems like people are putting up with extremist rhetoric earlier and earlier each year! If this trend continues, we're likely to next year be hearing Westboro condemn Santa as Satan while the rest of us are still processing their Halloween condemnations!

We know it's like the busiest shopping
around your patented brand of demonization time of the year, Westboro, but please wait until the last bit of stuffing has been yanked from the turkey before breaking out your popular renditions of "Santa Claus will Take You To Hell" and "Doom to the World!"

Honestly -- their excitement makes them seem like a kid at anti-Christmas!

****This Westboro anti-Christmas statement can be found on their website. However, a link from us is something those kids never receive.

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