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01/31/2007

'Ex-lesbian' finds Showtime-based ones too glam

by Jeremy Hooper

Picture 6-45As many of you ladies likely already know, "The L Word" creator Ilene Chaiken recently spun off the chart that's prominent'y featured on the lesbian drama into an actual online social networking site for gay women. Well, just like fellow "pro-family" spokesperson Peter LaBarbera is condemning gays' usage of such websites, Focus on the Family's resident "ex-gay," Melissa Fryrear, is now chastising the OurChart site for its pro-lesbian vibe. This from FOF's CitizenLink news site:

"As someone who lived homosexually for almost a decade," she said, "I know from firsthand experience that there is another side of the lesbian culture, and it is anything but glamorous."

Instead, Fryrear said, women with same-sex attraction often experience a string of broken relationships, substance abuse and emotional volatility.

"I personally experienced such in my own life," she said. "I saw it all around me in the lives of other women."

Social-networking sites like OurChart, Fryrear said, could potentially entice women to consider bisexual or homosexual behavior when normally they would not.

"There is good and credible scientific evidence of the emotional harm many women experience as a result of promiscuous sexual behaviors," she said. "And for Christian parents who are trying to raise their daughters within the biblical sexual ethic -- which only condones sex within the marriage of a man and woman -- they should be concerned about their daughters possibly stumbling across this site and being exposed to the glamorization of same-sex behavior."

Oh, where to begin? Well, first off: Neither "The L Word" or OurChart presents a 100% glamorous portrait of gay women, but rather a realistic (albeit soap opera-y) portrayal of lesbian life. The former has shown familial non-acceptance, death, non-committal characters, back-stabbing, substance abuse, broken relationships, Jenny, heartache, heterosexism, "pro-family" antipathy, conception and adoption issues, etc. The latter features women and voices from all walks of life interacting and bonding as they truly are. The portraits of lesbian life painted by the forums are what they are -- well-rounded and far more accurate than an "ex-gay" woman would ever let on.

As for Fryrear's claim that the wily OurChart's uber-appealing HTML could lure women out of the warm confines of heterosexuality and into the lurid waters of lesbianism -- well, not if they aren't already interested in taking a dip! Nobody in the history of the world has ever been convinced to sleep with a woman simply because they found them alluring. This gay man once had the honor of being in the same room with both Jennifer Beals and Elizabeth Berkley, both STUNNING creatures. Seriously -- they are like statuesque specimens of glamorous, feminine perfection. But guess what? I didn't have one ounce of desire to sleep with either of them! And you know why? Because I do not desire to sleep with women! I have been there and done that, making me perhaps more qualified than many other gay men to unapologetically say it is simply not for me! So on that same token, if a woman stumbles onto OurChart and finds herself WANTING to smooch one of the actresses, it is not the website or "The L Word" that is to blame, but rather their own biology that they should embrace.

Professional "ex-gays" like Ms. Fryrear have muddied the waters so thoroughly that they seem to be incapable of looking at gay and lesbian life in even a semi-reasoned manner. She can't for a second stop and think that lesbians like Ms. Chaiken have created sites and shows like OurChart and "The L Word" because they wanted to present imagery that reflects the lives that they know to be truth. Instead, these "ex-gays" act as if we gays are creating alluring Venus fly traps in hopes that we might snag a few curious heterosexuals and convince them to join our team. These "pro-family" types respond to our every venture in ways that make it seem like we have motive upon motive underlying our undertakings. Which is ironic, coming from a crew whose modus operandi is to hide their true gay-demonizing intent behind a veil of false compassion and code-wording (i.e. "pro-family" instead of "anti-gay"; "pro-life" instead of "anti-a woman's right to choose"; "traditional marriage protection" rather "marriage inequality for gay folks," etc.).

But Ms. Fryrear: We truly don't tend to over-glamorize our lives. We understand why it might seem that way, as you make a living demonizing those same existences. However, if even despite the culture of non-acceptance that is still all-too-prevalent in this world, folks manage to still find our actualities appealing -- then perhaps that says far more about desire and sexual orientation than your "gays can change"-advocating self would ever admit!

Again, just to reiterate: this gay man finds this...

80 Small
(photo by Jennifer Beals)

...(a) psychically appealing and quite lovely, (b) sexy and beautiful, yet (c) not the least bit arousing! It's really not that hard ("no boner" pun intended) to follow your true desire!

L-Word's Fictional Relationship Chart Now an Online Reality [CitizenLink]

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Your thoughts

I was thinking about ex-gay people yesterday amongst other issues, and they really piss me off, because well they are just liars. I hate liars. I imagine it is just part of the whole five stages of acceptance. Granted a long and much more painful process than most would want to endure, but that's what you get with proper mix religion, self-hate, bad parents, bad friends, and maybe some drugs.

Posted by: Matty | Jan 31, 2007 11:20:08 AM

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