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03/06/2007
That bowl was 'super, thanks for asking'
Ever wonder what it's like to work for the FCC and to have to muddle through all the complaints that pour in whenever some media personality so much as insinuates that we are all sexual beings or that gay folks are normal? No, neither have we. However, for those of you who might be considering a career in "decency monitoring," The Smoking Gun can give you a glimpse into the life of an FCC staffer, as they have obtained a number of complaints that were sent to the organization in response to this year's Super Bowl. Here are two of our favorites:
#1:
It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet, as to show his silluette [sic] while his guitar showed a very phallic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would prefer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering checking him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.
#2:
The Snickers Bar commercial promoting homosexual behavior was disgraceful, also the giant shadow "phallus" from Prince's guitar was equally disgraceful, this behavior has no place in a prime time major family event. It was easier explaining to the kids about Jackson's boob being exposed, than explaining the pro homosexual theme of this year's event. We will never watch live again, only on TiVo, with the half time filth show cut out. It's pathetic when you can't keep porn out of the Super Bowl, just because 6% of the population is gay.
Well, the Snickers commercial was a little disgraceful, but for far different reasons than this respondent suggests. It's more the "beating the hell out of each other with wrenches to prove their masculinity" part with which we had a problem, but hey -- to each their own views on "disgrace."
As for Prince: Well, he's actually not one of them there evil HOMOSEXUALs who spread the HIV and turn the football-loving kids gay via their phallic imagery. In fact, he's rumored to be quite the ladies man, that Prince!
But besides all that, if anything might heighten a kids interest in the homo-sex during a football match, it might just be the ultra-built men in tights who fall onto each other and pat their teammates on the ass to congratulate each other! Of course we don't think they would be TURNED gay by ANY type of exposure, as we think it's far more likely that your genes would've done that, anonymous FCC complainers. But if they do turn out gay, go ahead and blame CBS if you wish. It's actually not as wacky as some of the other theories we've heard on gay development.
For more of the complaints, click the link below. And while you're reading those, we're gonna go ponder why, exactly, this nation's parents find "Ya see kids, some people with whom you share this world are gay" such a f***ing difficult thing to say!
Super Bowl XXX -- "Gay" Snickers spot and Prince's phallic guitar top beefs to FCC [TSG]
Technorati Tags: Super bowl
Your thoughts
Oh, ye gods...this is too, too funny. I love the complaint that referred to him as a "one-hit has-been." Somebody slept through the 1980s, it would seem. Besides the fact that Prince is notoriously HETERO. This is comedy gold, right here.
Posted by: Johnny M | Mar 6, 2007 3:33:17 PM
These idiots think that, just because of the way Prince dresses, and that he can dance he is gay. They show their ignorance on so many levels.
Posted by: ptboat | Mar 6, 2007 4:46:07 PM
Wow, very funny stuff. Can these all be real? Do some people prank complain to the FCC? "My children were watching and now I have to explain to them what a wet spot is on a cum covered sheet. Thanks CBS." Good lord, that's so nutty...
Posted by: werdna | Mar 6, 2007 5:31:47 PM
You know, I would suggest that the guy who said that CBS turned his son gay was a fake, but after hearing someone explain to me that using plastic stirrers in coffee could turn someone gay, I don't doubt that he's sincere.
Posted by: Katter | Mar 6, 2007 5:47:12 PM
I found this same story on Respectful Insolence (one of the science blogs - a good read) [in response to letter #1]:
http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2007/03/prince_turned_my_son_gay_1.php#more
"I have news for this person: If his or her son's sexuality is so fluid that merely seeing Prince do something that might be considered phallic, then he was already gay before he ever saw this year's Superbowl. I'm particularly intrigued at how this person's son might have acquired HIV from merely watching Prince do his routine on the television. Apparently this is a new hypothesis of AIDS causation of which I had previously been unaware."
Posted by: Anon | Mar 8, 2007 2:57:51 PM
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