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04/30/2007

Status of 'Center for Reclaiming America Ferrera' remains unknown

by Jeremy Hooper

When seeing this announcement regarding a prominent anti-gay group...

Picture 16-10

...we of course have but only one reaction: Christ is gonna pull out an all out, Veruca Salt-like Jesus fit when he hears about this! We'd imagine it will go something like this:

J. CHRIST: I want America and I want it NOW!!!!! You promised you'd get it, Center for Reclaiming America for Me!!! Where am I supposed to find it now, eBay?! Perhaps a flea market? Just wait for someone to tithe it to me? I don't think so!

::sigh:: I don't mean to be rude, but my name in vain -- It is just SO HARD to find good help these days! I mean, you ask some mere mortals to recoup the world's most powerful nation for someone, and you'd think they'd come through. At the very least I'd of thought they could get me the continental 48! Maybe just Texas, even? SOMETHING!

Well you know what, CFRAFC? Forget it! It's not like it's so great anyway. I didn't really even want it. Heck, I don;t even know where I'd put the darn thing! I can just go ahead and...Oh who am I kidding? I DO! I DO WANT IT! WAAHHHHH!!!!

Okay, just calm down Jesus. I know what I can do -- I can just ask Santa to bring it on my birthday. After all, he's been bringing everyone else loads of crap on MY DAY for centuries. Isn't it time I got something other than songs sung to me?!? So yea, that's what I'll do! I'll ask Santa.
Take that, Satan!

Center for Reclaiming America for Christ is shuttered [AP via Orlando Sentinel]

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