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05/14/2007

LaBarbera skeptically questions Jack/Ennis' coitus

by Jeremy Hooper

Picture 12-20Americans For Truth's Peter LaBarbera has the following to say today about Brokeback Mountain (which is back in the news thanks to a new lawsuit):

I saw Brokeback Mountain in the theater because I had to. It is a highly effective propaganda film well-suited to exploit today’s widespread confusion over “sexual orientation” and “same-sex love.” The film is about two male cowboys who “fall in love,” and features a sudden sodomitic encounter in a tent that is, well, let’s just say, biological and medical fantasy. The film, of course, seeks to advance the fiction that “gay” romantic love is just like the normal variety except with different genders. But that ignores, for one thing, the terrible damage that sodomy (i.e., anal sex) exacts on the body. That’s why many male initiates into homosexual sex get high on drugs or alcohol first — to dull the pain (and the shame) of this unnatural and sinful behavior.

If Brokeback were honest, one of the guys involved in the scene depicting the crime against nature (how sodomy was once regarded back when men were men) would be howling in pain louder than a coyote, rather than just rolling over and going to sleep. But, hey, we wouldn’t want to spoil the cultural elites’ pro-”gay” party by telling Americans about the pain and consequences stemming from homosexual behavior, would we?

Now, this writer doesn't want to sound like an expert or anything, but that sexual encounter in the tent: Not a biological and/or medical fantasy! And the men involved in the encounter: Neither would be "howling in pain louder than a coyote" due to the act depicted in the film. Are there certain items that could have made the encounter a little smoother? Sure. But while you can claim to be an expert on many, many aspects of gay life and culture, Mr. LaBabs, we're thinking that the experience of lube-less gay intercourse might be one that even you would agree is best left to those boys who've actually found themselves at 1AM in a house that's devoid of Wet Platinum!

As for the alcohol and drug sex prerequisite: Again, Mr. L, you might not want to try and write these checks that your butt can't....cash. If people use drugs in their sexual experiences, it is primarily to heighten their enjoyment, not cope with their reality! And let's please not confine such behaviors to the gay world! Some people of every sexual orientation indulge in chemical highs of various varieties. If you want to gun for those behaviors, then fire away. But do not make it sound like those who refrain from participating in such behaviors are left in a post-coital pool of pain and shame! It's simply not the case.

Is Brokeback 100% true to life? No, it's movie. But Mr. LaBarbera, with all due respect, your version of gay reality is far from a factual documentary! It's much more like Harry Potter or Spiderman, and much less like the actual love and physical bond shared between a "hairy potter" and his gay partner, Herb Spiderman! You simply don't know what you're talking about on this one, big guy. And unless you have something major to tell us, you're going to have a very hard time ever convincing us that you're worthy of schooling actual gays on the subject of K-Y-less, drug-less, shame-less "rose stemming." We would never be so bold as to profess ourselves the dean of "pro-family" bedroom behavior!

‘Brokeback Mountain’ Shown to 8th-Graders in Chicago School; Lawsuit Seeks $500,000 in Damages [AFT]

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Your thoughts

What on earth would LaBarbera know about "male initiates into homosexual sex"? I've never read or heard of any study, formal or informal, legitimate or Cameronesque, that asked if guys were high or drunk the first time they had sex.

And as Brokeback rightly illustrated, before there was Wet Platinum there was spit.

But then again maybe Pete is speaking from experience. Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Posted by: Timothy | May 14, 2007 7:29:23 PM

I suspect LaBarbera is speaking about his own fantasies.

Posted by: Kevin | May 14, 2007 11:15:34 PM

Just because "Mr". LaBarbera "howled like a coyote" his first time... doesn't mean the rest of us did. ;-)

Posted by: Don | May 14, 2007 11:29:22 PM

Pete's first time must not have been all that great. Pity.

Posted by: Mike in the Tundra | May 15, 2007 11:03:11 AM

I just cannot imagine that people in this day and age really think the things that LaBarbera printed here. I really pity him if his upbringing made him so homophobic. As suggested above, he is probably horrified that this movie actually got him aroused. He must be the type of man who is fearful of his own sexual orientation. That in my 64 y/o straight grandmother opinion is the only reason why he would spew such homophobia.

Posted by: Merr | May 19, 2007 2:48:55 AM

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