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06/20/2007

NY Assembly does right thing; waits for Senate to do right wing thing

by Jeremy Hooper

 Good As You Images 0 2So just as we predicted, the NYS Assembly last night passed legislation to legalize same-sex marriage in the Empire State (by an 85-61 vote).

Which means there is now only thing preventing this NY-based writer from entering into legal matrimony: The state Senate. But that chamber, unfortunately and even offensively, has indicated that they won't even consider the possibility.

So basically, if this were the point where the preacher says, "If anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your peace," the state Senate would be the ones who are all like, "Uhm, yea -- because of my Republican majority, I'm gonna have to put a stop to the fair and decent loving in my midst."

If they were to RSVP with a response to our pre-reception question of "fish or vegetarian course?" they would be the ones choosing "Air, with a tall glass of Not Gonna Happen."

If told the affair would be "black tie," they would be the ones protesting, "No, your civil rights movement isn't tied with the Black community -- you guys are seeking special rights, not equality."

If hired to plan the whole shindig, they would suggest we hold our ceremony on the 12th of Never in the Land of Make Believe, set on a moral pedestal placed well beneath that of all heterosexual couples.

If hired to be the wedding band, the Senate would be inclined to play, "Going to the Chapel and We're Gonna Admire The Stained Glass Windows, Pray, or Do Anything Other Than Watch Two Dudes or Chicas Get Hitched"

If the glass that we break at the ceremony's closure to the congregation's cries of "Mazel Tov," they would be made of non-shatterable plexi.

If the travel agent who books the honeymoon, they would be the ones giving us a room with bunk beds.

Get the idea? Yea? Well if so, then the Senate will be at your house in a few minutes to make sure that you keep your "I dos" confined solely within the confines of your own mind. Although they might be delayed, as we hear they must first stop by the NY Museum of Civil Rights History to pose for their future inclusion in the "Hall of Missteps."

Assembly Passes Marriage Equality Bill [The Agenda]

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