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07/23/2007
Faux gays make real cash
Actual gay couples entering into relationships? Well, Americans are still less accepting of that concept than we would like. As for fake male-male couples joining up for comedic movie mayhem, however? Well:
'Chuck & Larry' Top Weekend Box Office [AP via CBS 13]
Yes, despite abysmal reviews, faux gays Chuck & Larry beat out both Harry Potter and Hairspray to claim the top stop at the weekend box office. So Gay Cinema 101: Even if the critics think it sucks, as long as the lead characters don't actually suck, the masses will suck it up. Got it.
In response to the way this country has wrapped their arms around the film, we would just like to remind America that for far less than even the price of the popcorn, they can see us actual gays entering into our own domestic bliss. Hell, public, if you demand that the government let us film our own wedding videos within the next five years, we'll even hire our own cute kids to stand around us and say things like, "Are you two homosexicals?" in order to delight you and your friends. We can maybe even get that movie announcer guy to narrate the day-to-day minutiae of our lives, as well as secure the rights to some mid-80's pop song to underscore our existences. Ooh, and we promise to make all sorts of jokes an innuendo at parties that will have you laughing out loud! And the beauty part: You can leave your cell phones on ring, you can bring in reasonably priced outside food to enjoy while we entertain you with our ACTUAL gay existences, and you won't need a ticket stub to return to the show, should our monogamously coupled lives strike within you the need to piss. Not to shabby huh?
So whatdya say, peeps -- Gonna get behind us on this (and not kick the back of our seat), or are you gonna help to keep us from ever enjoying the full experience (like that annoying person who brings a three month old to Ratatouille and lets the baby cry throughout the flick)? The choice is yours. Make the right one, and we might even let you play some video games on your way out!!
Your thoughts
It's the "Franklin Pangborn Effect"—most nongays, even the "liberal" ones, just like Homer Simpson, love their fags FLAMMMMMING, i.e., something to laugh at, either "flaming" in its traditional sense of being nelly to the nines [Ross the Intern swinging his wrists and shrieking while discussing the Winter Olympics (or anything); Carson styling up pro baseball players; Bobby Trendy failing his butch makeover] but the butt [pun intended] of the joke in any case. Gay MARRIAGE??? What a joke! The movies trailers assured them of the latter.
Posted by: Michael | Jul 23, 2007 1:44:48 PM
I just had a tense disagreement with my apartment manager (our relationship has before been very affectionate and amiable). And she considers herself gay friendly. However, she got upset with me because I didn't want to see this movie. She was gushing about how it's message was so gay supportive.
I didn't want to see it One: because I can't stand Adam Sandler's movies. Two: I'm not especially eager to see these types of comedies.
But then, she went on a rant about how gays should try to get along with people and shouldn't get upset if they aren't accepted.
And she admonished me for talking about gay people so much! Even though it's hard not to if a lot of your friends are and you just happen to be mentioning THEM, and what you're doing socially.
I promised her I wouldn't talk to her about gay people anymore.
But this put a real crimp in what I thought was a really good friendship.
Happens to me a lot. I'm an anti hate activist. And other issues concerning women, blacks, everything concern me.
But folks get most emotional about gay issues and in a way it's hard to have conversations.
That's the price I guess I have to pay for speaking up for the minorities.
Posted by: ReganDuCasse | Jul 23, 2007 2:04:48 PM
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