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10/10/2007

'Queer, Used To Be' pissed at 'Dear Abby'

by Jeremy Hooper

 Good As You Images  Good As You Images Picture-19-12Remember yesterday when we told you how "Dear Abby" has come out in support of gay marriage (and made some of you grown with our story about our pet deer, Abby)? Well, professional "ex-gay" Stephen Bennett is quite crabby over Abby's pro-gay statements, and he doesn't care who knows it. This from his latest press release:

Bennett, a former homosexual himself, now married almost 15 years to his wife and the father of his two children, said, "Sorry 'Dear Abby' - You are WRONG on this one!"

"Jeanne Phillips (aka Abby) is opining a lot about how very little she knows. Her using buzz words as 'homophobic' and 'inclusive' and 'judgmental' are to scare people into believing she is 'right.' Homosexual family members need to be loved and be treated with respect, yet going as far out on a limb as Phillips did, is showing FALSE love and is actually harmful. We encourage families to love their 'gay' identified loved ones unconditionally, yet without ever condoning or accepting the behavior.

"It's a fine line one learns to walk - and when you speak the TRUTH in love - it pays off. 'Dear Abby's' ignorant advice will only cause more harm and pain to a confused society, and not only to the homosexual individual, but to EVERY family member and friend involved," said Bennett.

Bennett ended, "'Dear Abby,' stick to what little you know -- and forget about that which you don't. Encouraging young 'gay' men to accept themselves as such can lead to an early death. I wonder how you would respond to several of our Parents Group members, whose sons have died excruciating and painful deaths due to HIV/AIDS. Try comforting these inconsolable parents. What, I wonder, would you say to these distraught parents, 'Dear Abby'? Maybe, 'That's just life! You can do it! Get up now and move on!'

"I suggest Jeanne Phillips talk to people like me and a 75-year-old mother in our group whose son walked away from homosexuality after many years. Phillips is brainwashed, ignorant and uniformed. You want the truth 'Dear Abby'? Give me a call."

"Brainwashed, ignorant, and uniformed"? "Stick to what little you know"? Meow, Stephen!

But Mr. Bennett, here's the thing: Word like inclusive and judgmental are not "buzz words." "Inclusive" is the kind of world most reasoned people would like to see, and "judgmental" is what many anti-gays (such as yourself) tend to be. And in fact, Stephen, considering that your side swims in waters where buzz words are like oxygen ("pro-family," "protect marriage," "ex-gay," "sanctity of marriage," etc.), we don't really think it's in your best interest to highlight how some people use certain terms to "scare people into believing [they are] 'right.'" People might start thinking there's a bit of "doth..too much" behind your protestations!

It's also very telling, Stephen, that you attack Ms. Dixon and call her "brainwashed, ignorant and uniformed," when she is culling her thoughts about gay people from personal experiences, tangible evidence, stories from millions of actual gays, and research, while you are pulling your entire "ex-gay" notion from a movement that's based in junk science, religious persecution, and a scant sample of anecdotal claims. Just because your side, as part of your strategy, throws around the word "truth" a lot, it doesn't lend any more credence to your claims. And no matter how many times you make protestations to the contrary, the entire "ex-gay" notion requires one to accept anti-gay Biblical interpretations as fact (a bit of brainwashing), ignore the personal stories and feelings of the vast majority of the gay community (a bit of ignorance), and hold on to medically unsound ideas that sexual orientation and true attraction is a malleable concept (a bit of an uninformed stance). People in glass socio-political movements shouldn't throw stones!

Also, Stephen: In your closing statement, there should be a comma after "truth." Although we disagree on much, hopefully we can all agree that punctuation and syntax are important.

And last but not least enragingly, Mr. B: You throw in stigmatizing portraits of HIV/AIDS, so as to make it seem as if being gay = being diseased. It's a sick strategy your side has used for years, so we're really not surprised that you do so here. However, it is your side, with your demonized portraits of gay life, condemnation of gay marriage, not-stop declarations that gays are "evil" and "wicked," and opposition to things like condoms and proper sex education, that contribute more to the unsafe sex practices than anything else! When one is devalued in the ways that anti-gays have been doing for years, they are far more likely to see less value in their self. If marginalized, they are more likely to live their lives on the margins. You anti-gay bullies have more blood on your hands for the HIV/AIDS problem than just about anyone else! And if you would cut the bullsh*t and stop telling scared gay kids that they will never be free to live and love like their heterosexual peers, then we would see start seeing a solution a problem that was exacerbated by fear and ignorance in the beginning, and has been propagated with the same mentality ever since!!

We understand why you attack people like Ms. Dixon for coming out in the way that she has, Stephen. You know that she has a voice in middle America, and you know that this is just another bit of writing on the wall for those of you who make a living hurting both gay people and the state of fairness and decency in America. However, you are never going to shut up the resounding chorus of fair-minded voices that are taking over this conversation, because like a great man once said, the arc of history always bends towards justice. So attack the characters and mental capacities of as many columnists as you want, S.B. We have confidence that the populace will correctly decide whose advice they will ultimately take to heart!

Dear Abby: You're Wrong on Homosexuality and 'Gay' Marriage [Christian Newswire]

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Your thoughts

Bennett ended, "'Dear Abby,' stick to what little you know -- and forget about that which you don't.

"Hey Kettle, you're black!"

Posted by: Benton | Oct 11, 2007 7:08:37 AM

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