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Video: Because 'Bette Davis Eyes' wasn't melodic enough

by Jeremy Hooper

Condemning gays with a wrath so ferocious, they'll make you question the decency of all mankind? Westboro Baptist has fully mastered that concept! As for basing their parody videos around songs that are currently making an impact on the cultural zeitgeist? Well, that seems to be a bit tougher for them:

Yes, those are the Westboro gals going way back to 1984 to mimic the musical stylings of Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For A Hero." So fresh. So topical. So now. So batsh*t nuts.

But frankly we can't wait to see their next Bonnie Tyler spoof: "Total Eclipse Where Our Hearts Should Be." Here, we've even got an advanced look at a few of the lyrics:

Turnaround, don't look us in the eye because
our cold hearts just might turn you insane

Turnaround, we're really not joking
what we peddle is contagious and you just might catch it if you're not careful

Turnaround, Why are you not listening? I'm telling that you should
get out of our faces before Fred's teachings harden your heart as well

Turnaround, right-minded eyes, You really need to leave before
our hate-filled rhetoric permeates your brain

Turnaround, right-minded eyes, Do you know how much we'd give to be
able to break free from this mess?

Sounds like a winner!

There Are No Heroes [YouTube]

**RELATED (and far more fabulous):

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Your thoughts

Okay, let me just list out everything that is sad about their video.

5.) Bonnie's video is WAY better than the Phelps family video. (at least near the end of the video, there is some possibly sexy tight jeans man to look at. I like the butt on that guy.)

4.) Was this video created because Bonnie Tyler is so much better looking and sing a heck of a lot better than Shirley Phelps? (Sometimes I confuse Shirley's face with the pavement my car drives on)

3.) Bonnie Tyler should sue not only for copyright infringement but also for doing a horrible job in singing.

2.) Nobody claps for them in their previous videos so they had to find a clip on the internet of little kids clapping so they can make believe they are getting an applause. How pathetic is that?

1.) Those Fred's grand-daughters are guaranteed lesbians because this video shows a few of them dress so manly, their faces are turning manlier, and they only dance with each other. Its true, no man with a right mind would breed with a Phelps.

Posted by: Sam | Oct 3, 2007 7:16:27 PM

They hate so well. I find it quite remarkable. However, I wonder how they can justify their words and actions in light of Matthew 22:37-40. I suppose the words of a man who lived 2000 years ago aren't very relevant in their lives.

Posted by: Mike in the Tundra | Oct 4, 2007 9:23:48 AM

That's a real "are we sure it's not The Onion?" video. They're NOT kidding? Are we sure?

Posted by: roge | Oct 4, 2007 1:27:07 PM

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