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01/03/2008

Westboro wishes an unhappy and unhealthy '08

by Jeremy Hooper

200801031024Some sing "Auld Lang Syne" and give their sweetie a smooch. Others eat black-eyed peas while watching an absurd amount of football. Yet always ones to buck common American trends, Westboro Baptist Church has instead opted to honor the new year by predicting an increase in God's hate for 2008. Here's just a sample:

If you think 2007 was bad – hold onto your hat – 2008 will be great for God’s hate: Look for MUCH worse on the war front AND on the home front (VA Tech; I-35 Bridge Collapse; Texting/Wrecking/Dying Doomed american bimbos/Mall shooters, shooters at your whorehouses (you call churches), flooding, droughts, angry she-tigers, etc., etc. – ALL curses from God and ALL child’s play! You are a sad, sick, and burdened lot, Doomed america. Perceiving this matter from the Bible out, america is in her death throes and has nothing but more and greater tragedies and terrors awaiting her in 2008. Doomed america is the very picture of Magormissabib – terror on every side – and we simply could not be more pleased to know and tell it!

Happy New Year! :p

But on the bright side: They didn't predict that this year's season of "24" would be even worse than last year's, or that we will see the second-coming of Sanjaya in the upcoming crop of "AI" finalists. So yay -- it seems God doesn't COMPLETELY hate us (yet)!

***NOTE: The full Westboro press release can be found on their website. However, a link from us is something those kids never receive.

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Your thoughts

Magormissabib? Gesundheit.

Posted by: AustinDave | Jan 3, 2008 1:26:25 PM

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