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05/09/2008
Lesbian mothers should probably pray elsewhere
This is an email that the the oddly gay-focused Rev. Ken Hutcherson has sent to his congregation letting them know what to expect during Sunday services:
Geez, Hutch. You can't even take a day off to just celebrate motherly love? You have to double-bill the materfamilias exaltation with teachings that increase the likelihood that those mothers will have a strained bond with their kid if the child happens to be gay? Why that's even more of a matriarchal disservice than buying your mama all of the ingredients for breakfast in bed, then telling her to cook the French toast herself!
But if you think this is bad, just wait until you see Hutch's Father's Day plans. We're hearing that all of the unwanted ties that the dads receive will be distributed amongst the congregation, which they'll then use to flog an effigial representation of Ellen Degeneres that will be hanging from the rafters.
Services May 11, 2008 [AB Church]
**We think we're kidding about that last part. But it's a little scary how unfazed we'd be if it turned out to be true.
Your thoughts
On the bright side, for Father's day they'll be mixing it up by offering a workshop on how to bring down large corporations that have pro-LGBT policies.
I heard that on Thanksgiving they'll be holding strength training classes for guys to help them rip the arms off of people holding doors open for them, but that might be only tentative so far.
Posted by: zortnac | May 9, 2008 5:27:57 PM
Hutchersen's reall message is:
All gay male Mother F**kers should go straight to hell!
Posted by: Dick Mills | May 10, 2008 4:37:25 PM
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