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07/09/2008

From iGod to iPod: Retired ministers are total trendoids

by Jeremy Hooper

Responding to the news that 80+ retired United Methodist Church ministers in California have vowed to perform same-sex unions, Mark Tooley of the Institute on Religion and Democracy tells One News Now:

"These retired Methodist clergy think they're being very 'cutting edge' by making themselves available to conduct same sex unions," ... "But I think they're just making themselves look rather silly [and] that they're trying to catch on to what is obstensibly a fad -- and Christian clergy who try to be faddish almost never are as trendy as they think they are and end up looking fairly silly in the end."

200807090915Yes, because when one thinks of a retired United Methodist church minister, the number one thing that comes to mind is certainly "cutting edge." You know how the story goes: A person pledges their life to God, dedicating their entire existence to conveying the Gospel. Then they hit their golden years, and all of a sudden they become hipsters whose only concern is embracing the latest trends. Their focus, once on only what the Heavenly Father is doing, takes a late-in-life turn towards what the kids are doing. Where you could once find them readying their week's sermon, once they hit the big 6-0 you are far more likely to find them catching up on what sort of crazy antics Heidi and Spencer are getting into on "The Hills." And of course they stop being slaves for Jesus and start becoming slaves for Fall Out Boy.

So it's only logical that these 60+ year old religious people would totally be into the "fad" of gay marriage. After all, everyone knows that's all the fight for marriage equality is really all about: staying in vogue with the changing times. We gays don't really want to pledge a life commitment to the one we desperately love. No, no -- we just desperately want to be hip. Getting married, saving the planet, ending baseless wars, pushing back against those trying to undermining constitutional freedoms, electing a president who can actually pronounce fifth grade level words: None of these are things about which we progressive people are passionate. Just Like the twist, bell bottoms, disco, pet rocks, and Doc Martens before them, these current society-shaping notions are simply flavors of the month that will someday be remembered by D-list TV personalities on a VH1 clip show.

So yea, when it comes to gay love and the retired religious folks who support the concept, you clearly have it all figured out, Mr. Tooley. We just can't wait until your next rational assessment of the changing times, when you will sirely school us on how those ministers who support the possibility that maybe, just maybe, the world is more than 6,000 years old are only doing so to help their chances of being cast on the forthcoming MTV reality show, "Blasphemy is SOOO Fetch!"

Retired UMC clergy to perform same-sex 'marriages' [ONN]

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Your thoughts


The comments section following the ONN article actually contains a half dozen comments supporting the retired clergy. Is somebody asleep at the censorial switch over there, or what?

Posted by: dave b | Jul 9, 2008 12:39:20 PM

I'm confused. Will they make themselves look "rather silly" or only "fairly silly".

Because if it's just fairly silly, well then it might be worth being cutting edge. But if they'll look rather silly, that may just be too much.

Posted by: Timothy | Jul 9, 2008 2:01:10 PM

These retired Methodist clergy think they're being very 'cutting edge' by making themselves available to conduct same sex unions,"

Is that what they think, Mr. Tooley? Apparently, the religious right is expanding their set of specialties beyond interpreting the meaning of books for us, and can now tell us what other people are thinking. Thank goodness someone is willing to do that for us too.

Posted by: Larry | Jul 9, 2008 2:05:50 PM

I found this line particularly interesting: "The IRD spokesman says as failed clergy of dying churches, the retired ministers are trying to jump on the latest fad."

So retirees are "failures" now in the Christianist lexicon? They'd better not let that leak out!

And really, "dying churches"? I suppose they're trying to put down mainline Protestants based on just a numbers game. Aren't these the same guys who, whenever there is a loud outcry against them, reference the "blessed are you when people hate and revile you in my name" passage?

Posted by: PSUdain | Jul 9, 2008 4:24:40 PM

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