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08/08/2008

Gluteus Phelpsimus

by Jeremy Hooper

Okay, now we've heard everything. This quote from Westboro Baptist's Shirley Phelps-Roper, speaking about how a group of their church members were prevented from entering Canada:

"They won’t let us in, but we have a group that will cross in another spot,” she told the Canwest Winnipeg Free Press. “They’ll have to strip search everyone who crosses that border or they won’t know who we are. They’ll have to see the WBC [Westboro Baptist Church] tattoo on our butts.”

Wow, the church members are branded on their keisters? Well we always suspected their logic came from their fannies!

But of course Shirley could just be acting cheeky. After all, the tattoo on their behinds might actually read "exit only."

Canada To Phelps: Stay Out! [J.M.G]

**UPDATE: We've received confirmation form Shirley that the tattoo thing was just a joke.

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Your thoughts

Jeremy--

Please PLEASE ask her if she was being serious about the tattoo.

And if she was, ask her for a photo!

Thanks.

Posted by: Andy | Aug 8, 2008 1:49:30 PM

Awesome! If the tats really exist then they've all sealed their fates straight to hell. They focus so much on all the anti-gay stuff in the bible (what little there is if any at all) and forgot about this explicit condemnation:

Leviticus 19:28 (King James Version)
28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Posted by: Daimeon | Aug 8, 2008 2:54:35 PM

Westboro has an official tattoo?

Now that's what I'd call the mark of the beast!

Posted by: | Aug 8, 2008 3:06:56 PM

Ugh, how's about a counter-protest, with signs reading:

"SHIRLEY: TMI!!!"

Posted by: Scott | Aug 8, 2008 4:00:21 PM

I think it's picture-time Shirley! One group shot of all of those asses will suffice.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 8, 2008 5:17:29 PM

I myself live in Winnipeg, and when I saw in the "Winnipeg Sun" that the Phelps were threatening to come picket the McLean funeral, I was furious. I cannot believe they would blame homosexuals for the senseless slaughter of that poor boy by someone who allegedly was a former patient of a psychiatric institution. If God was really pissed off as us gays, wouldn't he find a better way to tell us other than having someone mentally unstable kill a single person?

I'm glad the government is trying to keep them out. Its bad enough that they want to picket a funeral, but its worse that they're so notorious that OTHER people want to form a human barricade to keep them from disturbing the mourners, and I just keep thinking...isn't that JUST as bad?

For the sake of the McLean family and the people mourning, I hope the WBC does not make it into the country.

Posted by: Tyler | Aug 8, 2008 11:58:18 PM

Don't get your panties in a bunch - the quote was much longer at the beginning, to wit:

Inasmuch as Doomed american's LOVE to drop their pants and hang their asses out the window, if the Canadian Border Patrol want to find our people they will have to strip search everyone coming in from the US. That is the only way they will know who they are - they will be looking for the tattoo that says "Property of Westboro Baptist Church". :)

Knowing our guys were already over the border, I knew it would not be our people being ordered to drop their britches. :)

Of a truth, the reporter knew it was humor, there was a long pause and he quietly said "you don't really have tattoo's do you?"

Now that is some funny stuff right there - I don't care who you are. :)

Posted by: Shirley Phelps-Roper | Aug 9, 2008 7:24:36 AM

you are such a fucking weirdo, shirl

Posted by: | Aug 9, 2008 6:32:21 PM

Not a single Westboro protester showed up at the funeral proceeding. :-)

Posted by: JayCanuck | Aug 9, 2008 11:39:41 PM

Hey Shirley, any phaggots in the closets over there at the Phelps Phamily Phactory Pharm? Given the way you guys do "protest too much," it just seems reasonable that WBC must be crawling with 'em!!!

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 10, 2008 2:37:26 AM

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