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God hates moose burgers?

by Jeremy Hooper

We've certainly been vocal about our misgivings regarding Sarah Palin. But rather than calling into question her record and views, should we really be branding the Alaska governor as a "a phony pompous pretend pseudo-'Christian' pervert" who has earned the wrath of God? Yes, says Westboro Baptist Church:

(written on 9/3)



Yes, that’s correct. Your little darling of the conservative world, VP pick Sarah Palin, is a phony pompous pretend pseudo-“Christian” pervert! We said it! And you know it’s true.

On September 1, 2008, ten trumpets presented themselves in St. Paul to preach to the people of this nation at one of their big sacred idol-worshiping, snake-and-other-slithering-creatures-bow-down-sessions, called the Republican National Convention. You were all busying yourselves with your massive chair shuffle (think Titanic deck). We had some new signs: Thank God for Gustav; God Hates McCain; God Hates Palin. The only message of hope or truth for the citizens of this doomed nation.
Meanwhile tonight (September 3), phony pseudo-Christian Sarah Palin is going to deliver her maiden voyage speech to the nation. She has been hiding out in a room with a lot of really smart advisors for two days writing that speech. (She even missed an “anti-abortion” tea party at the convention. That made a lot of “anti-abortion” ladies really angry. It’s all about the access. They paid for that access. They don’t care if Sarah Palin drops dead writing her speech. They want their access!) That’s a lot of hours to write and vet a message! That’s what happens, dear reader, WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY!

She can hole up in a fancy hotel room for two years. Little miss Sarah P. can’t fix the problem. She can’t find the words that will cause God to bless this land. She can’t soften the hearts of these hard-hearted americans. God has already sent her enough glaring red-flares-in-the-night clues that he hates her. She’s not picking up what the Almighty is laying down. God did that to her, and all the Barbie-doll pretend-Christian girls of this country! They blab, blab, blab – and NOTHING changes. No fewer dead babies; no increase in a genuine fear of God; no less fornication by their young people; no less divorce-and-remarriage; no fewer fags or fag enablers; no slow-down in the sprint by doomed-americans to their destruction. She has nothing to offer people! Huh-lo! Is this thing on! She’s a cloud without water, a tree without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots!

She can’t make the droids stop blinking and enforce the law. She can’t make the 17-year-old not be pregnant; or any of the other 14, 15, 16 and 17-year-old children of this nation. She can’t keep all the claws from coming out of the sharp-tongued harpies all over this land, who want to tear on her – and will with the help of the media mongrels. She can’t stop all the political posturing, bullying, ballyhooing, and bullcrap! She just can’t! Not in two days; not in two years; not in two decades; not in two centuries; not in two millennia.

Hence our new sign, God Hates Palin.

Wrap your mind around this: No one – NO ONE – who has any fear of God, would even think about trying to be a leader of this cursed doomed nation at this hour. Why, in the name of all that is holy in heaven, would you want to be the “leaders” who led this nation to its final destruction? Are you people crazy?

Opinioned. In fact, MSNBC, if Rachel Maddow's new show doesn't work out, we think you know where you'll find your next pundit. Maybe something like:


Ratings gold, no doubt!

***NOTE: This full Westboro musing can be found on their blog. However, we'd sooner win the Iditarod than link to these sillies.

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Your thoughts

She's a "phony pompous pretend pseudo-“Christian” pervert"?

"Phony" huh? So does that mean she really ISN'T a pompous pretend pseudo-Christian pervert?

Posted by: GayMormonBoy | Sep 8, 2008 12:00:47 PM

WOW! We barely get an 'also mentioned' in that piece! He didn't get around to the "fags and fag-enablers" until fifth in his roundup of the deplorably wicked.

We must be slipping! Failing to bring our A-Game, or something! When pregnant seventeen year olds rank higher on the hellfireometer than fag-enablers . . . something's wrong with this picture.

Such is the lowly life of the WBC-beleaguered. On top of the list one day, in the shitter the next.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Sep 8, 2008 12:18:01 PM

Just one note Dick: I'm not sure who wrote it, so not sure if it's a "he." I think Shirley and Margie handle much of the blogging.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Sep 8, 2008 12:50:25 PM

I know it's odd but with pieces like this, I find myself agreeing more and more with the Phelps' these days. There's a great deal of logic there. Other than that second sentence (where one wonders what word the plethora of adjectives are modifying) this brings up several appropriate questions, and in the usual WBC point blank style, no less.

Posted by: Timm | Sep 8, 2008 3:21:36 PM

You've got to give the WBC credit. They're equal opportunity jackasses.

Posted by: RainbowPhoenix | Sep 8, 2008 4:34:55 PM

I would have thought that Phred wouldn't condone any of that "women's lib" nonsense, and that the "women folk" should just be happily silent and tendin' to their cookin', cleanin' and baby-pootin'. I just am finding it hard to wrap my head around the fact that a woman can act as a spokes(woman/person/model/whore) for such a starkly backwards organization. But maybe that is the reason that it only included a grazing, drive-by whack.

I wonder how many interracial marriages the Phelps clan has officiated? Maybe they are more mainstream then they sound?

Posted by: Dick Mills | Sep 8, 2008 5:43:47 PM

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