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Seize your joy. Come out of despair

by Jeremy Hooper

October 11, 2008: The catering is all in line, and the outfits perfectly pressed. The months of planning have trickled down to hours. Andrew and I are holding our Manhattan engagement party, step one in our bicoastal wedding celebration.

October 11, 1995: I watch every word that comes out of my mouth for fear that my less-than-masculine speech patterns will lay bear the truth that is and has always been within my head. It's unfair to date members of the opposite-sex, both for me and my partners in faux courtship. But what choice do I have? There are no gay people in my high school. Heck, are there gay people in my town? In all of Tennessee? The entire Southeastern region?

October 11, 2008: Andrew, the planner of our duo, has the day mapped out. Shave, manicure, and haircut are all booked into specific slots. I, on the other hand, am taking a fairly laxidasical approach to getting my stuff done. But while our approaches are different, our excitement is the same. We are both excited and shocked that this long overdue journey is finally in motion.

October 11, 1995: I'll probably marry someday. I don't feel like I have a choice. You get through school then ya get hitched. And hey, at least when I marry, I will finally prove to everyone that I am straight. I'm sure that in time, I too will believe it. Right?

October 11, 2008: The Connecticut ruling makes three states where we gays can legally marry.

October 11, 1995: It's not like I can legally marry a dude even if I wanted to.

October 11, 2008: It's not even noon, and there have already been two phone calls from my mom-in-law-to-be. She just might be the most psyched of all of us! And why shouldn't she be? Her baby is finally getting married!!

October 11, 1995: Did anyone see me looking at that issue of "Entertainment Weekly"? The one with the cover story on "The Gay 90's"? And if so, did they suspect anything? ::sigh:: I better go watch the game and talk about "hot" girls.

October 11, 2008: 115 guests will be on hand to send well wishes to the two fianc├ęs. Acceptance or "tolerance" is not even up for debate. We are loved. We are accepted. Non-"controversially."

October 11, 1995: Will I ever feel love? Real love? A genuine, rock you to the core love?

October 11, 2008: Today is National Coming Out Day. And while the booking was purely coincidental, the resonance of the date is not lost on me.

October 11, 1995: I just learned that today is apparently something called "National Coming Out Day." I gotta remember to put my guard up extra high, since people will probably be talking about it. Questions are dangerous. And the "right" answers are hard to find since they really don't jibe with what I know to be true.

October 11, 2008: I'm happy. Really frickin' happy. I want to wish a joyous National Coming Out Day to everyone:

 Albums V642 Shakespeares Sister Shakes4 NcodMockup

October 11, 1995: I'm scared. Really frickin' scared. Please tell me it gets better than this. Please tell me there is peace to be had. Please tell me I will come out of this darkness.


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Your thoughts

Congratulation guys! We are really happy for you!
Kevin and Doug

Posted by: Kevin Kaatz | Oct 11, 2008 12:20:08 PM

Awww, congratulations! I hope you have a happpy wedding

Posted by: Dar | Oct 11, 2008 1:15:22 PM

Well tonight's just the engagement party -- wedding in April.

Posted by: G-A-Y | Oct 11, 2008 2:51:01 PM


Here's wishing all happiness for the party tonight. And I'll do all I can to keep California a venue for your wedding in April.

Posted by: Timothy | Oct 11, 2008 3:19:01 PM

Dear Jeremy,

Beautiful post!

Wishing you both the very best!



Posted by: Queer Two Cents | Oct 11, 2008 3:52:58 PM

congratulations, best wishes for a wonderful wedding!

Posted by: queerunity | Oct 11, 2008 5:05:48 PM

May your Engagement be short, the Wedding: happily uneventful, the Marriage: satisfying, and the Party: FOREVER!

But beware the three ages of marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead. Work on the party, and let the rest take care of itself!

Posted by: Dick Mills | Oct 11, 2008 5:20:53 PM

Oh WOW. That brought tears to my eyes. I am So happy for the two of you, I pray for the two of you to enjoy EVERY happiness. And have fun at your wedding!

Posted by: Piper | Oct 11, 2008 6:33:56 PM

Congratulations. I have visited this blog for a long time and have never commented before buy really wanted to wish you both ALL THE BEST!!! Thank you for being here for us too!

Posted by: Wayne | Oct 11, 2008 10:48:16 PM


Posted by: Zachary Peters | Oct 11, 2008 11:33:45 PM

Easily the best post I've EVER seen here... all the best for your future with Andrew!

Posted by: Isobel | Oct 12, 2008 2:25:16 AM

Beautiful, just beautiful. Brilliantly put together. Hope you both are so very, very happy. And hope, too, that this gets picked up by every link, every news source, it is so damned creative. Thanks and congrats, Chris

Posted by: Chris Holden | Oct 12, 2008 10:30:30 AM

Quite the post, Jeremy. Truly touching and beautiful. :) I hope your party is the best!

Posted by: Barret | Oct 12, 2008 10:44:50 AM

That was a wonderful post!

I wish you two all of the best that life can offer.

I also hope that California cooperates -

Let's hope.


Posted by: dave b | Oct 12, 2008 10:23:33 PM

Awww, best of luck to you Mr. and Mr. Hooper! The timing's impeccable too!

Posted by: Chris | Oct 13, 2008 1:02:54 AM

OH! I missed it...but now having read all the Bilerico Coming OUTs etc... TRULY this is absolutely the BEST one.. So happy for you... D*** tears on Monday AM...of JOY! All the BEST.

Posted by: LOrion | Oct 13, 2008 11:31:57 AM

Congratulations! I wish you and your soon-to-be husband all the happiness in the world!

Posted by: Ed | Oct 13, 2008 4:21:22 PM

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. The party was simply magical.

A few pics: http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2008/10/photos-engage.html#more

Posted by: G-A-Y | Oct 13, 2008 4:28:08 PM

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