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12/01/2008
Every lie you never needed to know about gay sex* *But that David Reuben chose to tell the masses anyway
If the Rubik's Cube or the Dude version of the Clinton dynasty are definitive bits of nostalgia from the age in which you came into your own, then we have an assignment for you. We want you to go to your local gay bar, find an LGBT person who came up during or before the age of Aquarius and give them a great big hug. The kind of hug that will hopefully restore at least a small portion of said person's faith in humanity.
Why, you ask? Well, the hug could really be in response to any number of lows that have made up the roller coaster-like existence that has been post-WW2 gaydom. However, we want to direct this particular life-affirming hug to one 1969 incident that has surely caused an unmeasured amount of grief for any LGBT person who was a living, breathing, cognizant being in the years surrounding the late 60's/ early 70's era. And in fact, considering that the effects of this uber-popular incident managed to seep into and affect the hearts and mindsets of countless households during this time, perhaps more of us are STILL being affected by its nasty existence than we even realize.
The incident to which we're referring? That would be the 1969 publishing of Dr. David Reuben's best-selling book, Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex *But Were Afraid To Ask. 
It's a tome many of us have heard about over the years, and one we some probably know as being the basis of a satirical Woody Allen film. But for this writer, it wasn't until a bout of post-Thanksgiving insomnia led me to rummage through my in-laws' basement bookshelves of long-forgotten, particularly musty works of literature (or in this case "literature") that I was able to fully realize just how much damage this extremist book has surely caused on the many impressionable psyches that have swallowed its cravenly ill-researched bullshit as if it were the gospel. Now, through the miracle of modern Internet technology, you too can see what this widely-read bit of anti-intellectual hackery (which, according to Wiki, "was translated into 54 languages and sold in 52 countries and ultimately reached more than 150 million readers") had to say about gay folks. Read it and weep (for the countless gays whose harassment was multiplied because of this disservice to "medical advice"):
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex *But Were Afraid To Ask
by David Reuben M.D.
originally published in 1969
Chapter 8: Male Homosexuality
"But were afraid to ask?" In a perfect world, it would've been passing off biased, unresearched ideas as fact that would've invoked fear!
But hey, at least we now live in a world where intellect is far more valued than gay persecution. Right?
**UPDATE: At the end of the 20th century, Reuben released an "updated" version. While looking at the Google preview of the book certainly shows a bit of evolution in terms of basic decency, we see far too little update in terms of medical accuracy. See for yourself:
Updated version: Everything You Aways Wanted to Know About Sex By David Reuben [Google Books]
*SEE ALSO: In a 2007 post on Publisher's Weekly's site, Kevin Howell put an accurate label on the book:
Worst...Book...Ever: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex [Publisher's Weekly]
Your thoughts
Mindboggling. I was only 3 when this crap came out, but explains a lot of attitudes I experienced growing up ... and sadly, even now.
People have to WANT to unlearn this dangerous non-science, but far too many don't.
Posted by: Taylor Siluwé | Dec 1, 2008 7:59:49 AM
I prefer the Douglas Adams version: 'Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Forced to Find Out'
Posted by: Jadis | Dec 1, 2008 10:08:01 AM
Well, he got one thing right:
"Two men may wear what superficially appears to be the same shirt; the homosexual's is just a little tighter, a little brighter, a little more."
Sums me up perfectly:
A little tighter
A little brighter
A little more.
And I'm mysteriously fascinated by food (although I'm not fat), and when I drink, things really begin to happen!
---
1969 Version:
Conclusion: Asshat.
Modern revision:
Well, he retold the ER tale but removed the "faggot" and "fairy" language, and quoted it to make it look like it was the actual conversation.
Conclusion: he's an asshat, knows he can't be open about it, and lies.
Posted by: tjc | Dec 1, 2008 1:21:10 PM
Ah, yes ... I remember it well. In an age of zero information, any information can be useful. I was 13 when I read this load of crap. The "faggot" and "fairy" language was actually a good thing. It let me know that the garbage in the book couldn't be all that accurate and that it was presented by a hateful, hatemongering jerk posing as a scientist. I did take parts of it as a "how-to" manual and others as a cautionary tale. I vowed never to wind up in an emergency room with a shot glass or a flashlight in my rectum ... and, to date, I haven't.
Posted by: jeff | Dec 1, 2008 4:58:57 PM
I remember it well. I think this book helped to keep me in the closet for may years.
Posted by: BentonQuest | Dec 2, 2008 9:24:00 AM
Yep, I remember this, too. I read that crap while babysitting. It was stored with their gay porn. Guess which I trusted more?
Posted by: Kel | Dec 2, 2008 4:45:19 PM
Just tonight, by coincidence, while moving some books in my home office, I found a copy of "Everything . . . " So I thumbed through it, pausing on the chapter on Male Homosexuality. Then I thumbed through some of the other chapters. I noticed there is no chapter on Female Homosexuality. There are four question/responses related to lesbians in the chapter on Prostitution, and one in the chapter on Male Homosexuality. What a load of self-righteous condescending sheep dung! I wonder how many people who voted yes on Prop 8 were influenced by the book and have never updated their knowledge.
Posted by: jpjr | Feb 10, 2009 11:17:10 PM
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