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01/26/2009

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his iron stilettos

by Jeremy Hooper
Picture 19-49"The homosexual activists never stop claiming to be victims, even when they have an iron stiletto heel upon your neck. They will claim that they are being victimized by you," ... "They're intolerant, and now they're pushing even more legislation in the California government."
-Randy Thomasson, a Californian who has turned homo-hostility into a gauche artform
Calif. lawmakers and the Prop. 8 backlash [ONN]

We respond:

"Well actually, Randster, our iron stilettos are in the shop. We do, however, have some other shoes in which you might be interested.

We have our gold platforms, to represent the superiority of our pro-equality policies over your discriminatory ones.

We have steel boots, so that we can give the boot to those who would steal our rights.

200901261755We have ballet flats, on whose graceful backs we hope to inject peaceful acceptance into society.

We have Uggs, to represent the sound that your bias brings to our lips.

We have moccasins, a statement on the mock idea that our lives are a sin.

We have two pairs of bedroom slippers, because we will not be denied of our love.

And last but not least: We have our dancing shoes, which we will break out on that joyous day when professional anti-gay activists like yourself stop forcing LGBT people to fight for basic decency.

We will not keep our shoes in the closet, either. We will lace up and brace ourselves for whatever lies ahead. For you can walk one million miles to stop our lives, Randy, and we will walk one million and one miles to win our rights back. Right now your side may still be outpacing us -- but our pace is firm and steady. We will inevitably win this foot race, one step at a time!"

-Jeremy Hooper, a New Yorker whose current literal state is ironically barefoot.

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Your thoughts

I know it's a gigantic cliché to even say so, but there's something curiously precise about the image of an "iron stiletto heel upon your neck". If he had mentioned a boot stamping on his face, I might have seen it as a 1984 reference, but a stiletto heel in the neck sounds like he thinks of dominatrices and the fun they offer a grubby little worm like him often.

Posted by: Celia | Jan 26, 2009 6:15:35 PM

Yes, Celia, and that would be HET fun wouldn't it? Not gay.

JH you forgto your Wedding Shoes... to be worn any day now! (Don't do what I did, got them 1 size too small and though I somehow wore them 14 hours that day...never again.)

Posted by: LOrion | Jan 26, 2009 8:14:14 PM

wow, sexism and heterosexism in the same breath. how does he do it?

Posted by: Zack | Jan 26, 2009 10:10:05 PM

LOrion: It might be straight fun, but he doesn't have to shove it in our faces ;)

Posted by: Celia | Jan 27, 2009 11:35:28 AM

Where the hell did I put my Iron stilettos?
wtf?

Posted by: Corvidae | Jan 27, 2009 12:13:58 PM

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