Whether sodomy or jointly sodding your shared yard, Alan says no
Think it's only the sex part of homosexuality that earns the ire of professional "ex-gay" Alan Chambers? Well guess again. In a new column for Charisma magazine, the Exodus International prez reveals his belief that the mere act of cohabitating with someone of your own gender pisses off the big dude upstairs. And by that, we don't mean the cranky dude on the floor above you who complains because your Lady Gaga is too loud:
EXCERPT: During lunch, my friend asked my views on "covenant friendships". I'd never heard that term, but quickly realized she was referring to sexless committed relationships between members of the same gender. I immediately called them sinful. She was shocked. So was I. Apparently, we don't share what I consider to be fairly cut and dry biblical position on this issue. So I asked her to give me a first hand account of such a relationship that she saw as healthy. She went on to share the story of a Christian lesbian who believes that homosexual behavior is sinful, but holds no hope of ever experiencing heterosexuality. The thought of living a single life was too much for her to bear and so she developed a committed non-sexual relationship with another woman. They held a commitment ceremony, bought a house together, combined their finances and are trying to live happily ever after. They live in separate bedrooms, but in every other sense of the word, they are partners. "What's wrong with that?" my friend asked. Everything.
Talk about selling God short in the "I will supply all of your needs" category. What about abstaining from all appearances of evil? How about fleeing from temptation? Two same-sex attracted women getting married and pledging their lifelong love and devotion to one another, with or without sex, is called homosexuality...
REAL FULL PIECE: The New Homosexuality? [Charisma]
You can of course find Alan's condemnations in Leviticus 76:69, "thou shall not jointly pay your electric bill with mankind as you pay it with womankind -- it is an abomination"
Although if you choose to keep your gay partner in the dark recesses of your house's closet, then that might be a different story.
Alan Chambers is Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Posted by: Alonzo | Mar 12, 2009 12:33:11 PM
Wow. Where to begin? Celibacy is a gift to God. It should be freely given - not demanded of any segment of the population for any reason.
Covenant friendship means they buy into the idea that the so-called "literal" translation of scripture is correct? That's sad. A tad better than an ex-gay program, I guess, but still sad.
I love how over and over, some Christians feel they have the wisdom, authority, and expertise to decide what is sinful for everyone else, who is heaven-bound, etc. They equate themselves with God.
BTW, my employer is praying for my soul. ;P I think he believes I'm on the fast track to hell because of my advocacy. One of my atheist friends says I can ride shotgun with him. ;)
Love the Leviticus quote - LOL!
Posted by: Bonnie_Half-Elven | Mar 12, 2009 12:47:09 PM
"She was shocked. So was I."
At least he admitted that even they do not know what will come out of their mouths until they have said it. Apparently they just let themselves say whatever pops into their heads and then find ways to rationalize what they just said...
Posted by: Todd | Mar 12, 2009 12:56:50 PM
I'm still mauling over the Covenant friendships. Sure the love as kept me from pulling his nose hairs out as he sleeps, but the sex sure helps to stop me too.
Posted by: Mike in the Tundra | Mar 12, 2009 4:42:03 PM
On the other hand, if you live a lie by pretending you're straight, pledging fake love to an unsuspecting straight person, and engaging in a sham marriage for the rest of your life that's apparently pleasing to The Lord.
Posted by: Buffy | Mar 12, 2009 7:26:23 PM
You missed the best line in the story:
"There is no such thing as diet homosexuality. If I was going to go as far as these two women have I would just go all the way. "
That's why your an ex-gay Alan! You know that if you were shacking up with another (ex-gay) man you wouldn't be able to handle the temptation, and would probably be sneaking into their bedroom to handle something else.
Posted by: Jeff | Mar 12, 2009 9:23:14 PM
Oh why are the cute guys always "ex-gay"?
Posted by: Jonathan | Mar 13, 2009 10:18:46 AM
"She was shocked. So was I."
Apparently Alan Cambers was shocked that she was shocked by what he said.
He didn't shock himself. He shocked her, and her shock shocked him.
Sometimes I think these people speak a different language.
Posted by: Timothy (TRiG) | Mar 13, 2009 10:22:13 AM
I'm not quite sure where in the Bible is "I shall fulfill all your needs" is but it sounds like God put these two women together in order to fulfill their needs
Posted by: Theo | Mar 14, 2009 2:14:14 AM
Screw all these "Christian" posers, I'm gonna marry God.
Posted by: Chris | Mar 16, 2009 4:13:21 AMcomments powered by Disqus