They very well may call AIDS 'cool.' But Kool-Aid drinking doesn't seem on WBC's agenda
Since many people are speculating that Westboro Baptist Church is about to go all Jonestown/Heaven's Gate on us, we took the liberty of writing WBC's doyenne of dastardly dogma, Shirley Phelps-Roper. This is what she has to say:
So from what we can tell from Shirl's iPhone touches, there's no mass suicide plan in the near future.
Unless, of course, Shirl's "Continuing Legal Education" involves extending one's adjudication skills into the afterlife, in which case we guess it's possible that she's studying up on how to defend God in a defamation case brought against the harried office workers who imply that he had something to do with Friday or the movie stars who accredit his powers for giving them a particular trophy. But rather than speculate as to whether or not she'll soon have to pass the bar in heaven, we'll just have to wait and see what her forthcoming non-iPhone based words have to say on the subject. Stay tuned.
*UPDATE: She's expounded:
Hi Jeremy –
I got back to my computer where I could read the link and all I first have to say that I’m not about the read all that nonsense. But I get the drift of the message by what Jackass Joe, the writer of this blog titled it.
Let me start with this: HEY STUPID DOOMED aMERICA – YOUR BIBLE IGNORANCE IS NOT BINDING ON US!
Next add this: THERE ARE NO MARTYRS AT WBC!! NONE!! Yikes! I can just see this rebel nation salivating at the very hint that we might engage in some disobedient and lawless act of ANY KIND! It’s just all the more fun to wish that we might be like YOU – i.e. clueless rebels that have to dispatch themselves from this life because you have NO HOPE!!
Well – we are all good, all the time. I don’t know how many times I will say these words before my testimony is complete. GET A CLUE REBELS!! THESE ARE THE LAST HOURS OF THE LAST DAYS OF ALL!! Don’t look to Nostra Dumb-Dumb for face of how this is going to go. God said that he has given US (that is HIS PEOPLE – not the rebels, JUST HIS ELECT REMENANT – the rest don’t know what to do with the scriptures and frankly don’t give a rat’s ass) ALL the words of the scripture, especially those of the Old Testament for our learning, our example, our hope and our comfort upon whom the ends of the world have come! HEY – that would be these days in which we live.
Add this plain and simple verse into the mix: Deut 29:29 The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.
See how beautiful that is – simply beautiful. It means that when God says THOU SHALT NOT LIE WITH MANKIND AS WITH WOMANKIND, IT IS ABOMINATION, you don’t teach your children – GOD IS A LIAR – IT IS OKAY TO BE GAY!! NO – don’t do that!! Oops – too late – you did that!!
I could go on and on – but let us leave this part with – you are all rebel and do what you feel like doing because you feel like doing it. PERIOD!!
Cutting to the chase – The Revelation – check the words – it is all about the words: Rev. 1:1 ¶ The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John:
Did you get that – TO HIS SERVANTS – SHOWING US WHAT MUST SHORTLY COME TO PASS!! LISTEN TO US!
So we must search out that book. WE DO that! Our God, who is the ONLY source in this earth that can open the eyes of your understanding and cause you to understand what these words are about – and to help you see, line upon line and precept upon precept WHAT IS THIS ABOUT or WHAT IS THAT ABOUT – THAT God who called us forth to this glorious ministry – THAT VERY GOD is the God that opens unto us these scriptures and he does that as he is ready to do it and as we need to see this or that thing. The Earth Dwellers HATE that doctrine. They think it is all about THEM and how they (say this with a LOT of lilty sarcasm) fffeeeeeeeeeeeeellll!! Yikes! It is not!! There are things coming on this earth and you already are seeing the first fruits of them – many of them – and things are moving so quickly now – so we are looking for glorious things and we are clearer today about the chronology of events – and boy does that make me SOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!
Focus with me now on Revelation 18. Two events are described. We are already in the midst of the first – it takes up most of the chapter – till about the last four verses. YAY!! It is the fall of this rebellious house called DOOMED america!! Read with that Obadiah – a short book – one chapter – and here is the part that I love!!
Obadiah 1: 1 ¶ The vision of Obadiah. Thus saith the Lord GOD concerning Edom; We have heard a rumour from the LORD, and an ambassador is sent among the heathen, Arise ye, and let us rise up against her in battle.
2 Behold, I have made thee small among the heathen: thou art greatly despised.
3 The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou that dwellest in the clefts of the rock, whose habitation is high; that saith in his heart, Who shall bring me down to the ground?
4 Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle, and though thou set thy nest among the stars, thence will I bring thee down, saith the LORD.
HERE is the photo of verse 4 – you are SOOOO going to love this:
See that eagle – see that nest of stars that he sits in – YAY!! J
YAY!! Peter says in 1 Peter that these prophets didn’t know what they were speaking of exactly, but they sure wanted to and they searched out the matters, but they didn’t get to have the eyes that we have – that is – eyes that see the events unfolding! Let me help you see that with some more visual clarity – that is, with the face of The Beast, Anti-Christ Obama into the mix –
Now that is the picture that we are looking for! The prophets talked about these days. And the thought of pulling ALL that scripture together to answer the brutes that wrote about us doing some lame assed thing like killing ourselves – YIKES!! Well – I won’t. I will just tell you that Doomed america IS Babylon – you know she is. Iraq is Babylon and Doomed america is Iraq and THAT my foolish and unbelieving friends is NO accident J Our God put all these little matters in order from eternity past!! THAT is what he says in the scriptures again and again and THAT is what we believe!
So – if you get over to the last few verses of Rev 18 – begin with “And I saw another angel . . . – he goes on about him taking up a Millstone and casting it violently into the sea and saying THUS is Doomed america going to be destroyed –and there you will find the language that means in short – that it is going to happen SO FAST. Just like her fall – we are now in the midst of that fall – and it is not going to get better – only worse until your final destruction comes. Here is the language your writes seem to have so much speculation about – check the words rebels. Rev 18:17 For in one hour so great riches is come to nought. And every shipmaster, and all the company in ships, and sailors, and as many as trade by sea, stood afar off, 18 And cried when they saw the smoke of her burning, saying, What city is like unto this great city!
YES – and thus is the destruction going to be – it will be brutal and hard and so bad and painful. You are going to be in such straitened circumstances that you will eat your babies!! Yes – and Obama is going to take you there, but don’t worry about him – he is NOT going to be destroyed with the rest, as he must then ascend to his global throne – he will be the king of the world – and that discussion is for another day, but HINT: You can begin your read about that at Rev. 13; 2 Thess 2; Daniel 9 to 12 and Zechariah 12, 13 and so much more. Oh – and don’t miss Isaiah 66.
Anyway – let me wrap this up – EXACLY as Noah preached to the DOOMED ante-diluvian world and then got in the Ark and God shut it up and their destruction came; Lot preached to DOOMED Sodom et al and he left and their destruction came and Moses and the Children of Israel left Egypt and God destroyed the most powerful army in the world in that day, from which they NEVER recovered, and Isaiah and Jeremiah and Ezekiel et al preached to Doomed Israel and Judah – when their testimony was complete, the destruction came!! THAT is our example – we WILL complete our testimony, and then, our God will send us from this place – it is almost time, and I can hardly wait J When we go forth, your destruction will come –and it will look like those words in Rev 18:21 or so to 24 or the end of that chapter – you really should read them – good stuff and instructive!!
The time is growing SOOO short and STUPID DOOMED americans sit around trying to decide if we are going to kill ourselves – YIKES!! Not a chance poopy pants J We have another glorious job to do and it is going to be SOOOO sweet – we are beginning to address our new audience even now – and we are going to be looking for our brethren – death is NOT on our agenda as our God permits us, by HIS mercy to do HIS work!! We are looking for those good figs!! YAY!!
Thanks for asking!
They probably have run out of appeals on the five million dollar judgment against them, and they are planning on skipping town with the loot that they have squirreled away. I hear that Gambia is nice this time of year!
Posted by: Dick Mills | Apr 24, 2009 2:18:22 PM
Well at least I'll have a chance to see them before they "LEAVE".
The Phelps clan as supposed to be in Orange County, Ca today to protest a production of RENT.
Thankfully a Huge counter-protest has been planned.
Check it out:
Posted by: Jeff Chang | Apr 24, 2009 3:34:13 PM
wow, a simple "no, but thanks for asking" would have sufficed!
Posted by: craig | Apr 24, 2009 3:57:57 PM
Every time I see something new come from Shirley, I'm more and more convinced she needs to be locked up in an institution. And I say that without bias, she's a crackpot, no matter what her views on anything are.
Posted by: Bruno | Apr 24, 2009 4:40:21 PM
Ah, the last days. I can't wait! All of the righteous can be raptured up. Huzzah! It's amazing that people are still ringing the "end is nigh" bell. These types of cults have been around for literally hundreds of years. It's a sad statement that the human race is still this unevolved where we constantly kill and condemn each other for being different - all in the name of a spaghetti monster.
Posted by: ZnSD | Apr 24, 2009 5:13:39 PM
Looney tunes, party of one...your table is ready.
Posted by: Kristi | Apr 24, 2009 5:51:29 PM
I hope they don't kill themselves, I think they actually do a a lot of good for LGBT rights by making the other side look like idiots. Also how great is it that she can quote Revelation and say "not a chance poopy pants" in the same letter.
Posted by: Jon | Apr 24, 2009 6:11:24 PM
I agree with Kristi. The Westboro wingnuts actually do help us a lot by making the right wing bigots look very bigoted. We should send them thank you cards telling them to just keep it up, that they are helping us a lot. That would really make them steaming mad.
Posted by: Benjamin | Apr 24, 2009 7:31:04 PM
"We are all good, all the time."
If they're so convinced America is doomed, why don't they leave? I hear Jamaica is lovely this time of year.
Posted by: Bill S | Apr 24, 2009 7:39:21 PM
I blogged about this earlier, but then I visited godhatesfags.com to see what exactly they were putting on there and I saw they linked to this post. Everything WBC writes is CRAZY!!! But I loved Shirley's response because it was apparently necessary TO TYPE LIKE THIS RANDOMLY THROUGHOUT HER MESSAGE.
I discussed all of this here http://stuffqueerpeopleneedtoknow.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/wbc-says-its-almost-time-to-leave/
And great work on this post.
Posted by: Stuff Queer People Need To Know | Apr 24, 2009 8:05:48 PM
Did I read that wrong, or did Shirl just equate suicide with martyrdom?
Posted by: Dick Mills | Apr 24, 2009 8:50:46 PM
You read correctly, Dick. It's slips like that that make me wonder if this isn't all some bizarre, twisted form of performance art.
Posted by: Bill S | Apr 24, 2009 9:42:09 PM
I always hear a sing-song, adorable voice in my head when I read Shirley's diatribes. I think it has to do with her elongated vowels ("SOOO") and her selective use of capitalization.
Posted by: Katelyn | Apr 25, 2009 12:37:33 AM
I spoke to Shirley three years ago when I was a sophomore in college doing an article for the paper on their protests. The oddest thing I found about her - aside from her relious opinions and general outlook for everyone around her - was her pleasantry.
Ok cool, so in the 2nd e-mail to Jeremy she kinda gets snippy...but look how cordial she is to him when they exchange e-mails. This is how she was with me. I found it to be the strangest thing - a woman with so much hatred (in our sense of the word, not her own) in her heart and opinions, yet who happens to be VERY well spoken, polite, and cordial.
When I spoke to her on the phone she was not argumentative, rude, mean, or insulting to me personally. She was quite friendly, she gave me a chance to speak/ask my questions, she asked me about my school and how I liked it, and when I got off the phone with her I ended by saying "I know we don't agree on basically everything we could have a opinion about, but I'd like to thank you for being respectful of me and cordial and I hope I did the same in return. You answered all my questions very well and I really appreciate it." She responded somewhere along the lines of "you sound like a nice girl, I can't wait to read the article."
This, after she told me a story about how God saught revenge on some proescutor who brought a suit against them who's husband left her, and who's eldest son raped her youngest daughter. This was "God's revenge" on the prosecutor for the files she brought against the Phelps.
Like, seriously, it's such a weird paradym. I don't know if Jeremy agrees with me, but I just found them to be so unique from other right wing/religious crazies in the sense they aren't super argumentative or rude or fake. They are just like, certifiably bat-shit crazy to an extent where I actually think they really, truly, 100% believe and practice what they say, unlike the raging hypocrites one can find so commonly in the right wingers groups of the world.
On a sadder note regarding the Phelps... I am friends with Shirley's son on Facebook. His "about me" section laments on his family, saying he hopes they are doing well, he hopes they get through it, and he hopes to one day be able to hang out with his siblings again.
For all those who don't know, this son was "ousted" from the family group when he got his girlfriend pregnant (who he later married and they now live happily together with their son).
Weird family, this one. Very weird.
Posted by: Stef | Apr 25, 2009 1:57:55 AM
Ah, my daily quota of batshit crazy has been met.
Posted by: Mike in the Tundra | Apr 25, 2009 9:17:14 AM
I love the blatantly literal misinterpretation of a particular translation of obadiah. If they'd taken bible study seriously perhaps they would understand the reference to eagles in the bible: The Hebrew nesher, meaning "to tear with the beak," is often translated "eagle," in the Bible; but many scholars think the word they mean is actually "vulture."
Well done, Shirley! Not only have you spread your bigotted, insane views, but you've also made a completely scholarly ass of yourself.
Posted by: corvidae | Apr 25, 2009 9:38:30 AM
"We have another glorious job to do and it is going to be SOOOO sweet – we are beginning to address our new audience even now – and we are going to be looking for our brethren – death is NOT on our agenda as our God permits us, by HIS mercy to do HIS work!!"
That actually sort of worries me. Makes it sound like they're going to bomb something.
Posted by: Harrison | Apr 25, 2009 1:59:37 PM
LOVE these guys
Posted by: Saskplanner | Apr 25, 2009 3:41:37 PM
Stef, I honestly don't care how polite she acts. If she rejects her own son and grandson because she wants to brainlessly obey her church, she's an asshole.
Posted by: Bill S | Apr 26, 2009 8:05:11 AM
The Phelps loonies have a featured role in a very funny pro same-sex marriage video at Funny-or-Die called "Save the Institution." Give it a look.
Posted by: Jesta | Apr 26, 2009 9:47:09 PM
Great site and I love following it all the way from Oz.
I'm curious about something, and you being in contact and knowing the WBC as you do, may be able to sage my curiosity.
I have followed the shenanigans of the WBC for many years; they are largely thought of unkindly in this part of the world and hardly great exponents of Christianity, mainly due to the cruel way that they harass relatives of dead soldiers at funerals (great way to show 'christian compassion' to others - tho I've heard Shirley defend it in some bizarre ways).
I gather from the posts above that she has a son who has been cut off for having an illegitimate child.
Now, I recall watching a documentary on the WBC a few years back where she was confronted with the fact that she too had a son out of wedlock years ago - the interviewer was standing there, pointing to the son in question and asking "Are you the one who is illegitimate?" And then to Shirley herself "Is this the son that was born before you were married? Is he the bastard?"
My question is - is that true? Did Shirley have a child whilst still unmarried (she certainly didn't deny it at the time of the interview) and if so, how does she justify the excommunication (at least from the WBC) of her own son for the same reason?
My main beef with most fundamentalist Christians has always been with their hypocrisy. How many times have we seen fundamentalist preachers being exposed with yet another sex scandal or embezzlement prosecution? And of course, their constant appeals to fill their coffers often makes me wonder about the little proverb in the bible about rich men, camels and getting into Heaven. Constantly amazed that that ain't thrown in their faces more often!
I had thought that the WBC at least couldn't be accused of all that (bigotry, foolish behaviours and unchristian attacks on innocents perhaps - but not hypocrisy per se). But if the above is true, it kinda just tars them with the same brush as most of the other fundamentalists doesn't it?
Such a shame!
At last I thought here was someone that most of those poor deluded wowsers could look up to, but if it IS true, then it shows them to be just the same as the Falwells and Bakers of this world - Christians who mouth the talk, but cant walk the walk.
Can you answer that question re her son? Just curious to know.
Thanks again for your very informative site!!!!
Cheers from Melbourne
Posted by: Greg | Apr 26, 2009 11:24:17 PM
(a) Yes, she had a child out of wedlock.
(b) Yes, she has a child she has abandoned (a diff. child than the out-of-wedlock one).
I once wrote Shirley about the one who left the flock, and asked how she justifies protesting other mothers' sons yet ignoring the one "rebellious" one from her own brood. Here's what she said then:
Posted by: G-A-Y | Apr 27, 2009 9:18:21 AM
Thanks for that Jeremy. At least that's answered the question for me.
It does seem (as you say) a tad hypocritical, but then, why shouldn't the WBC folk be as tarnished as all the other fundamentalists?
Such a shame. Just when do you think the Christian folk will find their saintly champion?
Thanks again for clearing that up for me. Keep up your good work - this is a great site to see what is happening in the U.S.
Posted by: Greg | Apr 28, 2009 1:02:46 AMcomments powered by Disqus