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08/10/2009

Maine: Partly homo with a chance of devilish reign

by Jeremy Hooper

mike-heathIn Maine, Mike Heath presents himself as an positive force for the "pro-marriage" People's Veto. He claims to be an asset to the team that wants to rollback marriage equality. But if we didn't know better, we would swear that this man (who is affiliated with Focus on the Family/Family Research Council) is an operative for our pro-fairness side:

Friends known for their high-spirits seem remote and gloomy. Our gardens droop low as if worn out and saddened. Bird and beast stay close to home, and when they do venture out, they too, seem peevish and sullen.

What is missing is the sun, God’s emblem of cheerfulness and benevolence.

Our crops are faring like our moods. The potato crop is blighted, and corn and fruit fields wither. In one historic building in Augusta, rain flooded the basement, as water from another source poured down through the ceiling and extinguished a century-old chandelier.

Few people would be bold enough to suggest the cause of the endless rain and gloom, that the moral climate in Maine has caused the sun to hide its face in shame.

Worse than the rain is the fact that Maine voted in homosexual “marriage.”

In May, our elected officials overturned a law of nature, and in its place paid honor to evil and unnatural practices. Our leaders allowed a cloud of error to hide the light of reason, and then the rain began. How fitting that this eclipse of human reason is mirrored by the disappearance of the sun!

What darkness equals the error of saying a family should be headed by two mothers or two fathers? What error equals saying that two women can be married, or two men? I am not saying that homosexuals or the gay rights movement are to blame for the weather. Far from it!

The fault lies with a refractory governor and Legislature who imposed an immoral law on our people.
The Light of Reason [MFPC]

Oh, so it's not the gays that are ruining Mainers' summer. It's the legislature/governor. Wow, good thing you made that distinction, Michael. Otherwise people might think you're kinda extremist!

We just hope all the flowers aren't completely wilted by November. Because once we gays stop this insidious anti-gay agenda, we're gonna need to make some lovely bouquets.

**EARLIER: This same man has also blamed "chaos in the moral order" for blighting the city of Portland.

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Your thoughts

If marriage equality causes gloomy skies, we really need to bring it to Texas. A cloudy day would be a nice reprieve from this heat!

On a more serious note, it would be nice to hear someone who has a good, solid, non-theological reason to keep same-sex couples from marrying. So far, the argument is as follows:

"We see no Constitutional reason to deny same-sex couples the right to marry. SCOTUS precedents regarding equal rights and the role of religion in government reinforce our point."

"But if the 'gays' 'marry,' WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!1!!!!1!!!!!!"

It's getting old.

Posted by: Brian | Aug 10, 2009 11:22:20 AM

Thank GOD that he didn't send a nor'easter season! Don't need to have the responsibility for another one of those on our consciences.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 10, 2009 12:13:41 PM

So this means if there's a drought somewhere that kills crops, we should go there, get married, and save farmers from going broke?

Posted by: Bill S | Aug 10, 2009 1:04:05 PM

So, Heath, go outside and bang two pots and pans together and see if the sun will come back.

Posted by: Candace | Aug 10, 2009 3:13:30 PM

When did the Taiwanese vote to allow marriage equality? GOD must be really pissed at them...

Police: 400 unaccounted for in Taiwan mudslide
Article | TAIPEI, Taiwan -- A mudslide touched off by a deadly typhoon buried a remote mountain village, leaving at least 400 people unaccounted for Monday, and military rescue helicopters unable to land because of the slippery ground dropped food to desperate survivors.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/gallery/2009/08/10/GA2009081001414.html

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 10, 2009 3:31:12 PM

Dick, a guy like Heath would probably say it was because they didn't adhere to the right brand of religeous beliefs.

Posted by: Bill S | Aug 10, 2009 6:23:47 PM

If you're gonna write bullshit, there's nothing quite like poetic bullshit, I've always said.

Posted by: daphne | Aug 10, 2009 8:01:16 PM

Bill S, that may be true, but that could drive a wedge between this coalition of strange religious bedfellows that band together for the one purpose of ganging up on us. The minute that they start pointing out the reasons why they hate each other (almost as much as they hate us), then the fractures might prove to be their undoing. The fact that these guys love nothing more than to hate, is a strength that they can use, but it's also a weakness.

Posted by: Dick Mills | Aug 10, 2009 8:51:57 PM

What the hell is this? His term paper for AP English? This prose is purpler than fucking Grimace!!

Posted by: Liberty U Student | Aug 10, 2009 9:20:40 PM

Speaking as someone who grew up next door in Nova Scotia, it's Maine. That's summer. It's normal.

Posted by: marsmannetje | Aug 13, 2009 10:18:29 AM

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