by Jeremy Hooper
Forgive us, social conservatives, for not being sympathetic to your constant "gays are militant!" cries. But it's just that we have a hard time lending a sympathetic ear to your assessments, considering we live in a world where people go to lengths like this to hurt us:
Okay, seriously: To be so enraged at others' lives that you RIP UP A FRICKIN' BILLBOARD?!?! Never have we been anywhere close to that kind of ambitious-yet-disarmingly-absurd rage! A leaflet or a flier, maybe. Or even bus stop defacement seems a little less crazy. But shredding a gigantic billboard?! Why that takes almost as much zeal and pure brute strength as it does insecurity!
Police have not revealed whether hey have any leads. Though they are reportedly looking for the Incredible Hulk and Maggie Gallagher's long-hidden love child.
Yeah, and I'm from Memphis, and considering what a high-traffic intersection Poplar & Highland is, I'm shocked that nobody saw it.
Even in the middle of the night, that's one of those intersections where, if you're awake, you probably traverse that area. Big shiny 24-hour gas station, a half mile from the University of Memphis. They're right to call for a full investigation.