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10/19/2009

Yes on 1: No on 'the enemy'?

by Jeremy Hooper

While they've been working all summer and fall to disconnect themselves, we have well established that the Stand For Marriage Maine coalition that's trying to pass Question One in Maine has so many ties to the rabidly anti-gay Christian Civic League of Maine/Maine Family Policy Council, that it's a wonder the two organizations can even fart without the other feeling a quiver. So that being the case, perhaps it's time we stop judging Stand For Marriage Maine on the basis of the overly advised, carefully code worded, disingenuous press releases that they put out. Instead, maybe we should start listening to what their unabashedly straightforward cousins have to say about the Nov. 3 vote:

It is a well-known fact that Satan will do everything in his power to tear down the walls of spiritual protection around those who are unaware of his devices. All serious parents are concerned about what the future holds for their children. We must stand up and fight!
...
The family is made up of one man and one woman who have left father and mother and cleave to one another and become one! That is the biblical definition of marriage. Every serious Christian must defend that definition and also stand up as an advocate, supporter and fan of a traditional home. The importance of voting "yes" on question 1 cannot be over stated.

Maine and America is
in trouble.
The homosexual life style is being widely accepted even to the point that some churches are voting to accept them in their pulpits. Bi-sexuals, cross dressers, and those who have had sex changes seem to be taking over our society . . . . God's Word calls it an abomination!

The enemy is hurling things at the church at an astonishing pace. As God fearing, Bible believing, Holy Spirit filled believers, we must defend our families from the attack of enemy forces.

...
Is anybody ready to stand and fight for their family? We have an opportunity on November 3rd to protect marriage and family by voting and encouraging everyone we know to vote “yes” on question one.
Fight the Good Fight [CCL of Maine/MFPC]

Wow. As someone who recently got married, I know that wedding planning can be hell. But I never knew that was because I, like all of the gay betrothed, had unknowingly hired our father Satan as our coordinator. That must be why it felt like I was paying an arm, a leg, and a soul for the day's festivities!

But ya know what? My wedding was super fun. And Satan, for all that's been said about his fiery reputation, turned out to be a kick-ass planner. So I'm gonna now plead with Mainers to not vote Beelzebub out of business, and to instead let the prince of darkness plan some weddings for Maine's "enemies." Sure, it may piss off some of those locals who have appointed themselves to live their lives on a holy moral pedestal to which the rest of us "enemies" could only hope to aspire. But considering they seem to have an obsession with dehumanizing gay people, these new weddings will give them something to do with their weekends. You heard it here first: Stones will be the new rice!

Look, it's not even about us, our right as tax-paying citizens to have civil fairness, the preservation of civil rights in the face of majority tyranny, or the simple need for Maine to do the decent thing. And it's not about partisan politics. No, no -- it's about Lucifer's Wedding Planning Inc. and their need for business in this struggling economy. Duh!

So please, Pine Tree Staters: Don't put the big red dude on the unemployment lines. His pitchfork is likely to set off the government office's metal detectors, and you know how annoying that could be if you happened to find yourself on line behind him. Do you want that? Do you? DO YOUUUUUU?!?!?!

Love,

The Enemy

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Your thoughts

My best friend (a bisexual mother raising her daughter with her wife) and my wife's best friend (a bisexual man co-raising his daughter with his husband and his ex-wife) will be surprised to learn that they are not "serious parents." They will also be as surprised as I am to learn that we are "taking over our society."

The nice lesbian couple who ran the inn in Massachusetts where we had our wedding won't be surprised to learn that Satan was involved in our wedding, though. They weren't prepared for my brother getting really obsessive about the sound system being just perfect, my wife-to-be's hairstyle continuously changing (she got extensions) and her willingness to climb up a bannister backwards on a bet from the aforementioned best friend, my taking over their kitchen and passing up their premium coffee in favor of Diet Pepsi for breakfast, everyone's Russian or Southern accents...

"Stones will be the new rice"--ha!

Posted by: GreenEyedLilo | Oct 19, 2009 10:34:49 AM

I'm going back to the LAPD after a long medical absence. 48 hours ago, a 25 year old single mother shot her five and 18 month old sons. The older boy died outright, the baby is not expected to live.

I read in the NYTImes that a father (Miguel Matias) impregnated his 14 year old daughter, then strangled her to death and burned her body in the boiler of the apt building furnace where they lived.

Either East Coast, or West Coast and points in between, there are such horrible break downs of families, parental obligations and child abuse and murder, that NOM, FOTC and FRC's attacks on gay people are vomit inducing.

Don't they EVER read about how overwhelmed CPS and foster care services are to the extent that children are dying for want of decent care, from ANYONE loving and competent?

Those who are the first responders to domestic problems are usually confronted with squalor, filth and lack of food in homes where children live.

All the money that's being poured into creating discriminatory laws could well be put to better use towards shelters, tutors and counselors for families at risk.

I don't think there is anything wrong with shaming the likes of anti gay activists who are obviously neglecting their so called 'protections' of children and families.
Here in CA, the children of gay parents don't have marriage protection, but there are thousands and thousands of children that have NOTHING between them and their suffering from their STRAIGHT parents. ESPECIALLY every damn organization that has 'family' or 'marriage' in their names.
I wish they would just STFU!

Posted by: Regan DuCasse | Oct 19, 2009 11:35:14 AM

On the one hand these God-fearing God-loving Rapture-ready Christians expect me to believe that their religion constitutes absolute truth, and that terrible things will to happen to me if I don't believe it.

But on the other hand their incessant fraud, lies, distortions, and fabrications regarding homosexuality (and other issues) reinforce my own conclusions that religions, while originating from a desperate need of ancient people to explain their existence, developed into power/control -seeking organizations via the same tactics. I have to assume that the cleverest ancient people were just as prone to this as today's people. Somehow today's Christians seem worse in that they have the opportunity to check their beliefs against solid evidence-based knowledge, but they reject that. The cleverest early Christians surely knew they were just making stuff up in pursuit for power and control, but in their defense, they didn't have real knowledge to check against.

Posted by: Richard Rush | Oct 19, 2009 2:50:30 PM

I've heard it said, Richard Rush, that there's no sin but ignorance. Certainly I find it hard to forgive wilful ignorance.

Why are Christians so willing to lie? It's got to the point that whenever I hear a Christian talking about public policy I assume he's lying until proven otherwise.

TRiG.

Posted by: Timothy (TRiG) | Oct 19, 2009 4:34:43 PM

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