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07/13/2010

Audio: Oh look, Matt's being tough again. Adorable. Really.

by Jeremy Hooper

Matt-barberGays are disordered and therefore need to use Matt, Meredith, Al, and Ann "to make the absurd appear reasonable and normal." So says conservative movement liability Matt Barber:

(click to play audio clip)
*SOURCE: Media's task: Making the bizarre appear ordinary [ONN]

You know it's pretty funny that Matt accuses us of having to say things over and over again. Because even among the "pro-family" movement, he is heads and shoulders above the rest in terms of using and reusing the same trite words and phrases (and speeches) over and over and over again. From lines that he thinks are clever (e.g. "Patrick Henry marrying Henry Patrick") to ridiculous labels (e.g."newfangled"; "San Francisco-style") to nuggets that he makes thinks him sound tough (e.g. "uncompromising human biology"; "oymoronic notion of same-sex marriage") to hackneyed hyperbole in general, Matt is like a far-right broken record. And his absurd views are as antiquated as that very technology, which is why he has to repeat them over and over again. It's the only way he can dupe folks (including his Liberty Univ. students) into believing that gay male relationships constitute "one man violently cramming his penis into another man’s lower intestine and calling it ‘love’”; that President Barack Obama is an anti-american enemy; that Obama and Barney Frank are actually anti-religious bigots; that there are "sinister motives" in the Obama White House; that homosexuality is "among a litany of...sexual deviances" that include things like sex with an amputee's stump and sexual behavior involving feces and urine; that pro-equality progressives are akin to Fred "God Hates F*gs" Phelps; that marriage equality advocates are "purveyors of evil"; that gay unions are comparable to marrying a house plant; that Ellen Degeneres "guides her many adoring housewife fans into rebellion against God's divine and explicit natural order"; and so and so on.

So you keep on raging there, Matthew, accusing everyone else of doing exactly what you yourself do. You might find our love and weddings absurd and disordered. But guess what? You were never invited anyway. So bye. Go Away. No need to even send a gift. Go on, get out of here. Nobody wants you in our lives, loves, bedrooms, or horahs. SECURITY!

And quite honestly, Matt: The "Today" show is unlikely to shed an NBC peacock feather if you go running away to "The 700 Club." They actually like Ellen Degeneres.

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