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07/12/2010

For better for worse, for richer for poorer, for principled for discriminatory

by Jeremy Hooper

create avatarIt's such a balance here in New York. We locals are thrilled that our state recognizes same-sex unions, even while we remain dumbfounded about how and why we serve as a western wall between the rest of America and four full-fledged marriage equality states (and one, Maine, that had marriage before seeing it tyrannically rolled back).

To make do (or "I do," as it were), many of us nups-craving gays have been crossing the border into a place like CT so that we can have a semi-close-to-home wedding, before returning back to the Empire State to see those marriages fully recognized. But fortunately, it's not just gay folk. Some of our elected allies are also seeing the reasons for doing so:

One city official is making a statement on gay marriage by refusing to get married in his home state.

Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer says he and fiancee Elyse Buxbaum have decided to get married in Connecticut, rather than New York, because Connecticut allows same-sex unions and New York does not.

Stringer tells The New York Times the couple made the decision out of solidarity with gay friends who can't get married in their home state either.

If Gays Can't Marry in NY, Scott Stringer Won't Either [NBC New York]

So basically, in marriage lingo: Connecticut is becoming the fun cake, food, and open bar that makes wedding attendance so worthwhile; New York is becoming the super boring set of 1500 photos that your friends force you feign interest towards. The former, with all the commerce, the love, and the joy, is the tastefully decorated reception hall, while the latter is the stale office building with buzzing fluorescent light. Peaceful celebration vs. "Just tell me what I need to do to protect my family, I'm in a friggin' hurry. Oh, and do you validate parking?"

Don't get this writer wrong: I am personally and professionally thrilled about what my state does offer -- as a husband, citizen, activist, and principled human being. But come on, NY! National history is watching and mocking, local economists are counting and weeping, and the LGB population is wondering if maybe Hartford might be the new Chelsea!

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