Hey Brian Brown: Your future is on you, buddy, not us!
“If we do not stand up for marriage we will be treated under the law as bigots.”
Above is a quote that National Organization For Marriage president Brian Brown just delivered in Rochester, MN. And it's the general tone that NOM works all the time: The idea that their future treatment hinges on this or that "victory" at the polls or in court.
Can we talk about this for a second? Because while it's obviously offensive that they are implying that we are the big, bad, meanies just waiting to brand them with labels, it's also just plain anti-intellectual!
The crucial element Brian is overlooking is the "why." He and his crew have they "if" down pat. But they never ask what factors put this "bigot" label on their minds in the first place. And if they would -- and I mean REALLY would -- I sincerely think they'd see that we, the gays being barred under civil law, are not the deciding factor at play! The
I essentially do the same thing that NOM does, just on the other side. But I don't worry about my role in history. I don't worry about my political donations being made public ($500 to "no on 1" in Maine, $150 to Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, couple hundred to Hillary Clinton, couple hundred to "No on 8," from just the top of my head). I don't worry about appearing in the national/international TV and print outlets that have been so kind to have me. And it's not because I'm free from persecution -- trust me, I could send you pages of emails and comments and other threats that would bely that notion! The reason why I'm worry free is because I know without a shred of doubt that my fight is the virtuous one. Or even more importantly for our purposes: I know that my fight is the one that is sound under United States civil law, and that my sexual orientation is sound under credible science! And I say that not because I feel all kinds of public acceptance around me -- I say it regardless of what any person, group, or poll might say. Hell, I'm someone who had lost some of the people closest to me because I live and say and think like I do. Not speaking out and not living truthfully would've been the easy choice!
We live in a world where gay people have been legally marrying for a number of years now. We live among a population where civil acceptance rises every day that a new voter turns eighteen years old. This is not going to change! So what does Brian even think he and NOM are going to do to alter what they fear to be their destinies? Does he really think that even the most extreme change he is seeking, a federal marriage amendment, would stop LGBT people and their growing body of allies from demanding to live with a sense of peace and fairness?!?! Not. gonna. happen! So what, then? What kind of "stand" is he really seeking?!
The cold, frank fact: The only way that Brian Brown, Maggie Gallagher, and the rest of the NOMmers can alter their future is if they alter their work habits! That's it. Period. Just like nothing the opposition says or does about me (or my wedding) is going to change the righteousness of my life and the public acceptance thereof, nothing I or anyone else say about their actions is going to change the fundamentals. Sure, either of us might change public opinion or move some fence-sitters. But the concrete facts are immovable.
And the unaddressed "why" is the big elephant on that NOM bus.
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