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07/19/2010

Napoleon too complex? Blame the Gay-Straight Alliance!

by Jeremy Hooper

NapoleonA student went through twelve years of public schooling and failed to learn a basic, historical fact. So blame the gays, natch.

So goes the thinking of longtime conservative Sandy Rios and the concerned (presumably non-Francophilic) mother who wrote to her:

[RIOS]: "If education were a product we would be suing," wrote the mother of a 2010 high school graduate. Her e-mail was so eloquent, it warrants no editing:

[THE MOTHER's EMAIL]: "
Today I asked my son what country Napoleon was from. He said Rome.

He just finished 12 years of public schooling in what has been called one of the top high schools in the nation. Although he's not a bookworm, he is a decent student. He has better than a B average.

He doesn't know which country Napoleon was from -- let alone what he did. I don't think he was sick that day.

On the other hand, I'm going through his Social Study papers and see that he did learn that homosexual men in Samoa may perpetuate gay genes by being good uncles...

Twelve years. If education were a product we would be suing.
"
*KEEP READING: Napolean [sic] and the gay Somoans [ONN]

It's all part of our agenda, dontcha know? Years ago, our foregays made a blood pact with the late Mr. Bonaparte: If we don't tell anybody about his leadership missteps or famously short stature, then he'll let us eat the cakes that bear his name without gaining a pound. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh, but perhaps the best part of all: That the One News Now writer who wrote Sandy's headline seems to also have Napoleonic issues:

(as of 12:25 ET)
Screen Shot 2010-07-19 At 12.22.14 Pm-2

Ya know, because we 'mos have also hijacked spelling (this time for cannolis).

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