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08/30/2010

Audio: Oh look, there by the frat house -- it's a gay. Ooh, can I keep it in my dorm? Can I?

by Jeremy Hooper

Ryan-SorbaA warning to you, parents with late teen and twenty-something females headed back to school: Make sure their social calendar is occupied, lest they morph into lonely girls who, spurred on by their Wiccan lesbian professors, sense a need to adopt one of their school's pet homosexuals.

Take it away, Ryan Sorba (pic):

(click to play audio clip)
*AUDIO SOURCE: AFTAH Interview with Ryan Sorba – Part One [AFTAH]

Oh, Ryan. So, so wrong. College girls don't befriend gay boys because they are lonely or because they think it's cute. They befriend gay boys because after club after club where straight men think that trying to start a brush fire using nothing but (at least) two participants' clothes equates to dancing, these young women need the rhythm- and outfit-respecting respite that comes from a gay clubs! Duh.

Oh, oh, oh -- and because "gay" is not something like an 8am class, which students have a choice of either blowing off or embracing. LGBT people are friends and enemies and classmates and wallflowers and jocks and Greeks and geeks and fashionistas and library-dwellers and drinkers and teetotalers. They are roommates and club mates. Lab partners and willing experimentation specimens. Summa cum laude, some come softly. Sports fans and theatre Gleeks. Pretentious and down-to-Earth. And some are none of those things, but their fake ID says they are.

In short: LGBT people are college students. Period. And as long as more and more young humans realize this point, then there will be more young people of all genders who'll have friends who are [partiers] with a [3.0] GPA with a major in [Political Science], and who happen to be [gay]. (*replace bracketed text for any number of collegiate combos).

But then again, my thoughts could just be evidence of Prof. Sappho's lesbian spell still working its post-collegiate magic.

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