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09/27/2010

Okay, fess up -- who leaked our plan to destroy America one soldier at a time? Was it you, GOProud?

by Jeremy Hooper

6A00D8341C503453Ef01310Fcad7Ec970CPeter LaBarbera:

"America does not need a post-moral military, but it may be what we deserve. The irony is that if President Obama and his determined “queer” allies succeed in turning our Armed Forces into a driving force for immorality, it will only hasten the deterioration of our culture to the point, ultimately, where weapons and soldiers cannot save us from oblivion. If America rejects God, her prospects are dim." [SOURCE]

"Driving forces for immorality"? Oh no, Pete, you're mistaken: We're not only driving, duder. We're using the air force and navy too. Air, sea, ground, secret frequencies sent via our wedding rings, nightmares utilizing a trick we learned from Freddy Kreuger -- we're EVERYWHERE, brother! Bwaa Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Though Pete, I wouldn't worry so much about the prospects being "dim." Brigadier General Beelzebub has assured us that the immediate destruction wrought from our simple asking and telling is going to be beyond bright and colorful, lighting up the night sky like a pyrotechnic Cher finale atop the Empire State Building on a particularly festive fourth of July. Because you know us gays, P-Dog: We're as showy as we are society-wrecking!

Now if you'll excuse us, P.L., we have a meeting of the Post-Moral Societal Destruction Society to attend to. Captain Gaga is already here, wearing what appears to be a genetically cloned model of Sen. Susan Collins' skin. She and Secret Double Agent Obama are going to cook up a secret potion made out of gun powder, Tartini mixer, and Meghan McCain's new book, an elixir guaranteed to turn even the staunchest (R) into a fellow (G-A-Y) culture deteriorator. Gotta runsies!

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