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Video: Gays are like Godzilla's wealthier cousin, and other Parshall/Perkins myths

by Jeremy Hooper

Craig Parshall: Gays, who've been part of this nation's fabric only since the day Judy Garland died, are all rich and powerful and connected. In fact, they all have direct lines to the White House. And it doesn't even matter if that call to 1600 Pennsylvania is long distance, because they all poop gold flakes. So no, these god-like, gainful gays don't need to have their fundamental rights protected in the exact same way that heterosexuals do.

Tony Perkins: Right, Craig, my fellow heterosexual who spends an inordinate amount of time deceiving about an issue that would not change our reality one iota. In fact, it's precisely because the homosexual are so powerful that I can make an issue out of a judge's sexuality, intimating that he's incapable of doing his job accurately since his worldview could never be as lucid or as critical as a nice, normal heterosexual judge. No way is my compulsion to make hay out of his reported gayness further demonstration of just how far society still has to go. Nope. Not even a little bit.

And now, the movie version of our script:


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