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07/06/2011

Don't Ask, Don't Tell -- don't let the door hit ya...

by Jeremy Hooper

"Don't Ask Don't Tell" is like that dinner guest that just won't friggin' leave. You never wanted him in your life to begin with, but you suffered through his company in the name of compromise (goes way back to the early '90s -- long story). Pointless stories. Bad manners. Failure to bring anything to the table. You suffered through all of it, envisioning sweet freedom.

When eventually it became clear that the daylight was waning and the conversation was fading, you were sure your unwelcomed guest would see the writing on the wall and get the hell out of your ranks. But he didn't. He just. stuck. around -- his flawed butt more married to his chair than the federal government will allow you be married to your spouse (another discussion for another dinner party).

You and, presumably, he knows that that he inevitably has to leave for the sake of your right to privacy, as that precedent is pretty well established. Yet with every forward step comes a delay. With every clue-offering yawn, another tangent. With every favorable poll showing the majority of your homeland's residents wanting peace and quiet, a roadblock on behalf of overstayed welcomes. Hell, even an act of Congress might not even work!

Fortunately the Ninth Circuit isn't standing on ceremony:

In an order issued by a unanimous three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, U.S. District Court Judge Virginia Phillips's judgment halting the worldwide enforcement of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" as a result of her decision in Log Cabin Republicans v. United States has been put back in effect.

DADT cannot be enforced, per the order, unless the government gets a stay of the order from either the Ninth Circuit [or] the U.S. Supreme Court pending an appeal of today's decision.
Ninth Circuit Halts DADT Enforcement [Poligot -Metro Weekly]

"So okay then, this was real -- well, it was something. Goodnight and have a safe trip to irrelevancy! Did you remember your coat?"

But then a sneaking suspicion creeps over you. Is he really gone for good? Hmm. If only someone could give some sort of certification, that would be swell!

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